Parenting can be a wonderful journey, but it’s not all rainbows and butterflies. In fact, for every heartwarming moment, there are countless messy ones—sometimes quite literally! One father’s unforgettable experience has gone viral, reminding us all of those challenging days.
Meet Greg Thompson, who found himself in a full-blown poop crisis when his toddler daughter, Lily, decided to embark on a rather unsanitary exploration. It started as just another day: his partner, Sarah, was busy teaching her workout class, their son was at school, and Lily was napping peacefully. With the house to himself, Greg settled into his “man cave” to enjoy some YouTube videos.
But as he craved a slice of chocolate cake, things took a turn. Headed upstairs, he was hit with an unbearable odor. Initially, he thought one of the dogs had an accident. However, his dread deepened when he realized the stench was coming from Lily’s room.
“I see nothing at first,” Greg recounted, “but then my heart sinks when I realize the smell is from the upper floor.” What he found was nothing short of a disaster: “There was Lily, standing at the baby gate, totally naked, holding her diaper and covered from head to toe in her own feces. I’m talking about thick layers of poop on her arms, legs, face, and even in her hair. It was worse than any previous diaper escapade.”
He briefly considered shutting the door and pretending he hadn’t seen anything. After all, his partner had just celebrated Mother’s Day, and he didn’t want to be the bad guy. However, paralyzed by the situation, he opted for a hands-off approach. “There’s literally no good place to grab her, so I just knocked down the baby gate. Instead of walking out, she smiles and reaches her arms up for a hug. I screamed, ‘Hell No!’”
As Lily cheerfully headed away from the bathroom, Greg had no choice but to scoop her up. “I used just two fingers on each hand to lift her by the armpits and shuffled over to the bathroom.” Once in the tub, the real fun began. “The entire time, she tried to touch me with her poop-covered hands while I screamed like a teenage girl and dodged her. After what felt like an eternity, I managed to clean her up.”
But it didn’t stop there. He still had to confront her room. “I hadn’t even looked in her room before this, and I thought it was just a minor mess. Boy, was I wrong.”
Greg humorously described the scene as “a disaster zone straight out of a bizarre dream.” Her room looked like it had been hit by a category 5 poop storm—Hurricane Poopzilla, if you will.
After facing the chaos, Greg decided to fill Sarah in on the calamity. As she made her way home, he humorously considered burning the house down. Together, they tackled the mess, but it felt like an impossible task. “I won’t get into too many graphic details, but after using two rolls of paper towels, five gym towels, a bottle of Pinesol, and 2.5 hours of cleaning, her room still smelled like a dumpster fire.”
Greg shared his story as both a cautionary tale for new parents and a way to keep perspective for himself. “I write about these absurd experiences not just to entertain but to remind myself that, no matter how tough things get, at least I’m not cleaning baby poop out of my daughter’s toy set again.”
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In summary, Greg’s hilarious yet cringe-worthy story serves as a reminder that parenting is full of surprises, and sometimes those surprises come in the least expected forms.