This tale begins in the family minivan. As a parent, I often find myself dialing into pop radio, thanks to my kids’ obsession with tunes from former Disney stars. While I don’t mind the current pop scene and even enjoy many hits, I can’t help but ponder: Where are the love songs for couples navigating middle age?
Before we delve deeper, let’s address the age issue. I’m 38, and while some may argue that I’m still young, those of us in our 30s and 40s know the truth. Sure, we might joke that 40 is the new 29, but let’s face it—our bodies might disagree, especially when that knee pops while attempting to dance or when a second glass of wine leads us to nap instead of party.
To clarify, the average lifespan of an American woman hovers around 81, so yes, we are in middle age. Still unsure? Consider this: Are you more eager for intimacy or just that cup of coffee? Now we’re on the same page.
With years of experience behind us, midlife marriage has its perks. If we’re in it for the long haul, we know each other’s quirks well. We understand that a bad back might limit some romantic escapades. While lingerie might not be on the agenda anymore, if he’s ready to help slide off that oversized T-shirt, we’re all for it. It’s not all about the passionate nights; we’ve mastered the art of quick encounters, knowing full well that interruptions from kids or pets are just around the corner.
This is why I struggle to connect with many contemporary love songs. Take Selena Gomez’s hit “Love You Like a Love Song.” The lyrics are vibrant and youthful, proclaiming undying passion: “You are beautiful, like a dream come alive.” But let’s be real: my reality looks quite different. Here’s my rendition, “Love You Like a Grocery Run”:
I forgot the milk
So you saved me once again by picking some up
While you’re at the store, can you grab PB, dear?
Yes, another jar, for the kids’ lunch—don’t forget!
You’re a lifesaver, I’ve been to the store twice today
Reliable, huggable, my partner in this life
When you get back home,
We might find time for romance—after Netflix, perhaps?
[Chorus]
I, I love you for grabbing the groceries
I, I love you for bringing home a gallon
I, I love you for picking up those snacks
So I’ll be pampering your feet, feet, feet, feet, feet, feet.
Selena’s not alone in crafting songs I can’t quite relate to. For fans of Taylor Swift (who isn’t one?), “Blank Space” captures the thrill of dating with catchy hooks. But the fantasy of grabbing a passport and escaping for a weekend feels far removed from our reality of kids, pets, and home responsibilities.
Our blank spaces have now become placeholders for unread books and long-lost nap times, not romantic getaways. So, what song resonates with us, the midlife crowd? I present to you “Blank Stare”:
Where did my desire go?
I left my spark somewhere, I swear.
Nightstand? Closet? Favorite bra?
I used to feel eager, oh my, how time has changed!
This isn’t me—yesterday I felt 20.
My libido has taken a holiday.
New lingerie because I’m trying,
I read about it in a magazine,
“How to Please an Aging Partner.”
Let’s stretch before we dive in;
It can’t get worse than that swing incident.
[Pre-Chorus]
This could last forever
Or be a symptom of perimenopause.
I’d rather nap until it’s over,
Maybe some lube will do the trick.
I have a long list of desires,
Just not in my groin.
And I know you’d love some spark
But I’m just staring blankly.
[Chorus]
We’re older than we once were,
A pulled hamstring could happen, for sure.
But I’m the queen to your king,
So let’s lock that door.
With new ailments on the list,
Hormonal, not insane!
This blank stare is just temporary,
Shall we try again?
If you need a break from modern tunes, consider grooving to Marvin Gaye. His classic “Let’s Get It On” kicks off with “I’ve been really tryin’, baby.” That sentiment perfectly encapsulates the reality of midlife intimacy. It’s all about persistence, and one thing is certain: sex in your 40s comes with the bonus of not having to explain to a younger partner what they’re doing wrong.
For those on a journey of family planning, you might find helpful insights in our other blog post about couples’ fertility journey for intracervical insemination and explore our Make a Mom journey for expert advice. Additionally, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination information.
In summary, as we navigate the waters of midlife love and intimacy, it’s essential to find humor in our experiences and embrace the rhythm of our relationships. The lyrics may not always reflect our realities, but with a bit of creativity, we can turn them into relatable tunes for a life well-lived.