Chore charts are making a resurgence. I had promised myself I would never subject myself to this nonsense again, yet here I am, facing those energy-draining charts on the fridge as they mock me with their smugness.
“Let’s get one thing straight, you little paper tyrants. We will never be friends.”
A couple of years back, I decided to abandon chore charts altogether. What was intended to teach my kids about responsibility ended up being an exhausting test of my patience. I felt like I needed a chore chart for myself just to survive the ordeal.
Don’t let your frustration boil over while you repeatedly explain the chore chart expectations to your kids—again.
Don’t gnash your teeth and hope no one notices your struggle to maintain composure while you clarify those same chore chart rules for the umpteenth time—every. single. night.
And definitely don’t reach for that bottle of wine as you desperately try not to scream while reiterating the chore chart expectations, yet again.
No collapsing in defeat on the floor, allowing your kids to walk over you to claim a sticker for a task they didn’t even attempt.
The endless whining, pleading, and promises of “I’ll do it later” in exchange for completing even a fraction of the assigned chores is maddening. And let’s not even start on those infernal stickers.
“Who put a sticker next to, ‘Do not put stickers on your chore chart without asking me’? Take it off. Now.”
Of course, it won’t come off. No amount of scrubbing or scraping will erase that evidence. What may look like an empty space is always interpreted by my children as a sign of their ‘great achievement.’
“Yep, that’s where my sticker was. I kinda earned it, right? I’m awesome.”
My reluctance to dive back into this world of chore charts is well justified by past experiences. However, every child deserves another chance, and my kids were genuinely excited about this new opportunity.
One child, eager to show she can be responsible, is already contributing around the house. The other? She’s just in it for the stickers.
As the saying goes, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, not gonna happen.” So I made a game-changing decision—no stickers! Instead, I’d acknowledge their achievements with a smiley face drawn softly in pencil.
The responsible child fills her chart every day and even receives bonus smiley faces for extra tasks. The other one, however, eagerly sat down with me to discuss her chores, but the enthusiasm faded quickly.
“Pick up your toys without complaining.” “Sure, Mom.”
“Do your homework without whining.” “Okay, Mom.”
“Eat dinner in under 90 minutes without fussing over your green beans.” “Fine.”
“Brush your teeth for more than half a second without complaining.” “Whatever.”
“Be nice to your sibling.” “OMG, Mom! That’s so unfair! I don’t even like him!”
A month has passed, and her chore chart remains completely empty. I’ve since removed it from the fridge, tossing it into a pile of junk that waits for recycling day.
“Do I get a smiley face for recycling? Saving the planet is good, right?” *Insert frowny face here.*
This article was originally published on March 2, 2013.
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In summary, chore charts can often become an exercise in frustration rather than a practical tool for teaching responsibility. It’s vital to adapt the approach based on the individuality of your children, maintaining an open line of communication about expectations and achievements.