As the local youth baseball and softball league kicks off its season, my partner and I find ourselves reflecting on our decision not to participate in organized extracurricular activities. We had intended to explore the options, but before we could even access the registration page, it had already closed. Recently, I’ve encountered numerous families whose children are engaged in various activities, and it has begun to feel as though we are the odd ones out for not joining in.
When it comes to extracurricular activities, our children seem to be on the lighter side compared to their peers. Just a few weeks ago, our 3-year-old began her first structured class—gymnastics. Meanwhile, our 6-year-old has dabbled in dance, swimming, gymnastics, and ice skating. Our 8-year-old has tried dance and swimming before landing on gymnastics, where she has thrived. This year, we’ve also enrolled both girls in Girl Scouts. At present, each child attends one gymnastics class weekly, and the girls participate in 1-2 Girl Scout meetings monthly. That’s the extent of it.
We have consciously avoided musical instruments, language classes, tutoring, drama, art, or spring sports like soccer and baseball. To be brutally honest, our reasons boil down to time, finances, and a degree of selfishness. We are not prepared to adjust our weeknight routines to accommodate rushed dinners and late bedtimes. The thought of spending our weekends shuttling between activities, often splitting up to manage schedules, feels overwhelming. Additionally, with the costs of full-time daycare and summer camps already weighing heavily on our budget, we prefer to keep our finances in check for family outings.
Despite the choices we’ve made, it’s hard not to feel the pressure when every family we know seems to be offering their children a more robust schedule of activities. I worry that our reluctance to invest time and money might be limiting our children’s opportunities for growth. Yet, I also fear that once we dive into the whirlwind of activities, there’s no turning back. It’s as though we’re delaying an inevitable transition, attempting to preserve a sense of calm and simplicity in our current family dynamic.
Our routine includes cooking dinner each school night and gathering around the table. Some evenings, “quality time” consists of little more than complaints about the food, while others yield meaningful conversations that deepen our connection. On weekends, my partner and I carve out moments for ourselves—whether I sneak in a jog or he visits a comic book store. This little bit of personal time is essential for our well-being.
Every parent grapples with the anxiety that they may not be adequately preparing their children for the future. This fear lingers in my mind even as I rationalize our decision to limit activities. What if our kids miss out on experiences that could enrich their lives? They seem content now, but what if I overlook something crucial that could be irreversible?
Recently, our 8-year-old expressed interest in joining the gymnastics team, which involves multiple intensive practices each week and competitions on weekends, not to mention a significant financial commitment. While I admire her passion and believe in her talent, I still want to delay this commitment for a bit longer. I choose to opt out of this aspect of parenting—for the time being.
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In summary, our family has chosen to limit extracurricular activities for our children, prioritizing time, finances, and the preservation of our current lifestyle. As we navigate these decisions, we remain mindful of the balance between providing opportunities and maintaining a sense of peace.