For years, the sight of someone panhandling at a street corner has stirred a mix of frustration and guilt within me. The presence of that person with a cardboard sign serves as a constant reminder of my own shortcomings in generosity—not just towards them, but also in the example I set for my children.
It’s important to note that my intentions aren’t hypocritical by design. I aspire to be unconditionally generous with my time, resources, and compassion. Yet, when faced with the reality of someone in need right in front of me, I often choose to look away. Even when I suspect that some panhandlers may not be completely honest, it’s hard to deny that most wouldn’t resort to begging if they had better options available.
A couple of years ago, my children and I found ourselves strolling through downtown—a rarity for us. My daughter, then five, exclaimed, “Mama, is that Santa?” Her enthusiasm was infectious, prompting me to look over. It was summer, and I was skeptical of Santa’s summertime outings. The man she pointed to had a long, unkempt beard, but that was the extent of the resemblance. He was tall and thin, and his unbuttoned shirt revealed a small, soiled belly. His hunched shoulders made him appear older than he probably was, and a cardboard sign in his hands pleaded for help.
In that moment, I closed my eyes and turned away, hoping to shield myself from the uncomfortable reality before us. My daughter’s innocent questions—“What does his sign say?” “Can we help him?”—were hard to ignore. Kids have a knack for challenging your emotional and intellectual boundaries. I hurried past the man, determined to avoid the confrontation and the discussion I knew I should have.
My son, sensing my unease, surprisingly remained quiet. I promised myself that I would address the situation with my kids later on, but as we walked to the car, I struggled to find the right words. What could I possibly convey to a five and seven-year-old about homelessness? Ultimately, I decided to say nothing, praying they wouldn’t bring it up again. As we drove home, we listened to our favorite album, pretending that the encounter hadn’t happened. It’s astonishing how easily one can distract themselves from someone else’s suffering, even if it’s only by indulging in a cake pop from Starbucks.
I like to think of myself as a giving person, and while I do contribute to charitable causes, the reality is that I often prioritize my comfort over altruism. My husband and I have had discussions about giving, with him believing that many street panhandlers are part of a larger scam. I value my comfortable lifestyle, and while guilt does surface, I’ve often chosen my own needs over the needs of others.
Every year, my family engages in a few charitable activities that help us feel connected to the community. We sponsor children from a sister school during Christmas, purchasing gifts and clothing from their wish lists. We also support a child in an orphanage in Kenya. However, I’ve come to realize that when it comes to directly helping those in need on the streets, I tend to look away. My heart aches with every passerby holding a sign, yet I often remain paralyzed in my inaction.
With approximately 550,000 homeless individuals counted in the United States as of January 2016, I can no longer turn a blind eye. It’s time to correct my indifference. The next time I encounter someone begging on the streets, I plan to offer a couple of dollars, extend a warm holiday wish, and stop the cycle of teaching my children that conditional charity is acceptable.
This article encourages us to reflect on our commitments to charity and how we can embody that spirit, especially during the holidays.
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In summary, while the holidays can often lead to self-indulgent behaviors, it’s vital to remember the importance of giving back to those in need. By choosing altruism over personal comfort, we can instill vital values in our children and help those less fortunate.