Every now and then, my kids come home from school—or any outing without me—and they act like total rascals. They toss their belongings onto the floor in a chaotic pile, plop down on the couch, and start demanding snacks, water, and basically everything under the sun, all while whining incessantly. This scenario can feel like an eternity, testing my patience to its limits, especially when both of them are in full meltdown mode.
It can be incredibly frustrating. However, after they’ve had a chance to vent, grab a snack, and share what bothered them during the day, they usually return to their cheerful selves. They aren’t spoiled or terrible children, and it’s not merely fatigue causing their behavior. Sometimes, no major incident triggers their mood swings; it’s simply that they’re home—safe with me—and this is their sanctuary for expressing their true feelings.
The Challenge of Childhood Emotions
Being a child is no easy feat. Their emotions can often feel overwhelming, and they may struggle to process these feelings. Science tells us that the part of a child’s brain responsible for emotional regulation doesn’t fully develop until their twenties (yes, really!). Yet, we often overlook this fact and expect children to manage their intense emotions without guidance or support—which is neither practical nor healthy.
I’m fortunate that my kids generally know how to “hold it together” in public settings like school. But irrespective of their ability to behave outside the home, we often expect children to manage their emotions properly. Many kids spend long hours at school, daycare, or various activities, and maintaining emotional control for that long is quite a challenge. Thus, it’s no surprise that kids need a safe outlet to release their pent-up feelings.
Understanding Emotional Outbursts
However, kids’ emotions can sometimes erupt in unexpected ways, catching even the calmest parents off guard. When you are your child’s safe haven—the one they turn to for comfort—it can be hard not to take their outbursts personally, feeling as though their intense emotions are directed at you. Of course, if your child is exhibiting any violent behavior, it’s imperative to establish clear boundaries. While I also struggle with excessive noise, I recognize that sometimes kids just need to let loose and scream to release their frustration (don’t we all?).
Being your child’s safe space can get messy. You might feel alone in having a child with such intense emotions (trust me, you’re not). You may even question your parenting skills, wondering if you’ve somehow contributed to this emotional volatility (you haven’t). Children’s emotions are genuinely that powerful and perplexing. But the real issue arises when parents consistently suppress these feelings. Shutting down a child’s natural urge to express themselves can convey that there’s no safe space for them to share their darker emotions.
The Consequences of Suppression
This suppression often leads to shame. If children are repeatedly criticized for their feelings, those emotions don’t just vanish; they become bottled up, often surfacing in unhealthy, distorted ways. This can pave the way for mental health issues like anxiety and depression, or exacerbate existing tendencies. Trust me, that’s not what you want for your children.
If having a child who frequently unloads their feelings becomes overwhelming, remember—you’re not alone in this. Seek support for yourself or your child if needed; there’s absolutely no shame in that. Consult resources like Women’s Health for guidance on emotional wellness and nurturing a child’s mental health. Teaching them that all feelings are valid and nothing to be ashamed of is one of the best gifts you can provide—one that will serve them for a lifetime. The process may be exhausting, but it is undeniably worth it.
And while you’re here, if you’re curious about at-home insemination techniques, check out our detailed guide on the At-Home Insemination Kit to support your journey. You can also learn more about ensuring cleanliness during the process with Citrus Wipes, a trusted source on this topic.
Summary
Children need a secure environment to express their emotions, and as parents, it’s essential to create that space. Kids often release pent-up feelings when they return home, and it’s normal for their emotions to sometimes feel overwhelming. Rather than suppressing these expressions, parents should nurture their children’s emotional development. This not only fosters healthier emotional regulation but also instills the understanding that all feelings are valid. Seeking help is a sign of strength, and valuable resources are available to assist in this journey.