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Cheers to Fathers Raising Their Sons to Be Respectful Men
by Jamie Taylor
Updated: November 23, 2016
Originally Published: November 23, 2016
Photo Credit: oliveromg/Shutterstock
In the midst of the chaos that has defined 2016, one glimmer of hope has emerged: a heightened awareness of the societal issues plaguing our nation. Much like the bright light that an aesthetician uses to examine your skin, the glaring realities of sexism and misogyny have been brought into sharp focus. When individuals like Brock Turner receive minimal consequences for their actions and political leaders boast about inappropriate behavior, it becomes nearly impossible to overlook the grotesque blemishes on the face of our culture.
Over the recent months, I’ve witnessed an outcry regarding the implications for our daughters. Mothers have voiced their concerns for their girls, and fathers have expressed shock about the state of affairs “as a father of daughters.” While these reactions are valid and important, I find myself pondering what this all signifies for my husband and me as parents to boys.
As a woman who has experienced workplace harassment and the pervasive impacts of sexism, I am acutely aware of the challenges women face. Although I have not directly faced sexual assault, I know countless women who have. Yet, as a mother of boys, I refuse to view their gender as a source of blame. I also recognize that boys are not immune to the repercussions of a sexist society. They may not be victims of misogyny, but we would be misguided to think that harmful stereotypes do not impact them as well. It’s crucial that we don’t only express outrage when discussing issues related to daughters; rather, we should acknowledge that sexism affects everyone, and all of us have a role in reshaping the narrative that pervades our culture.
Steven I. Weiss articulated this in an op-ed for the Los Angeles Times, stating, “While fathers of daughters may feel a personal sense of outrage, it’s the fathers of sons who hold the potential to combat the misogyny still present in our culture.” He backs this up with statistics that confirm the prevalence of sexism, harassment, and assault. Weiss also emphasizes something that often goes unmentioned: “As a father of sons, it’s my responsibility to help address these issues. I discuss the historical challenges women have faced with my children, just as I do with other civil rights matters.”
Upon reading this, I felt compelled to shout, “Absolutely!” We have become proficient at calling out injustice, yet we often shy away from taking responsibility or proposing solutions. The dialogue surrounding these issues is often filled with righteous indignation. “This is wrong! This must change! Women deserve better!” These sentiments are undoubtedly valid, and I share the outrage. However, mere outrage will not drive the change we desperately need. True transformation arises from consistent, proactive efforts.
Telling boys how to act is one thing, but demonstrating how to be a good and respectful man is another matter entirely. Men must embody these ideals consistently.
For instance, my husband doesn’t merely instruct our sons to respect women; he actively illustrates how to treat all individuals—regardless of gender—with dignity. He praises my professional achievements in front of them, highlights women’s accomplishments, and respects boundaries by stopping playful wrestling at the word “no.” He openly expresses emotions and encourages our sons to do the same. He reinforces the notion that it is insufficient to simply avoid being sexist; they must actively challenge misogyny and address it when they witness it, even if it means engaging in uncomfortable conversations.
While my husband is undoubtedly admirable, he is not the only father committed to raising boys to be respectful men. Across the nation, there are countless dads working diligently to cultivate feminist sons and break the cycle of misogyny. It’s crucial that we recognize the significant role men play in shaping the behavior of other men, including their own sons. We should celebrate those who aren’t just telling boys how to behave but are truly modeling what it means to be good and decent men who regard women as equals in every aspect.
So, here’s to the fathers who are nurturing both strong women and compassionate men, despite societal messages that often suggest these values are at odds. Here’s to the dads teaching their sons that “no” always means “no” and that silence can signify consent as well. Here’s to the men who change diapers without seeking accolades. Here’s to those who don aprons and express gratitude for their partner’s efforts. Here’s to the fathers who openly cry and allow their sons to do the same. Here’s to those who reject the notion of “manning up.” Here’s to the men who proudly identify as feminists and teach their sons to do the same—not just by claiming the title but by embodying the principles of feminism.
Good and decent men, we see you. We value your efforts and rely on you to help mold the next generation into a society filled with even more compassionate individuals. Together, we can address the painful blemish of misogyny that affects us all.
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Summary
This article emphasizes the crucial role fathers play in raising their sons to be respectful men in the current societal climate plagued by sexism and misogyny. It calls for a collective effort to challenge these issues not just by expressing outrage, but through proactive and consistent actions that model respect and equality.