A few weeks ago, I boarded a flight for a five-day getaway that I had meticulously planned for months. I believed I had prepared thoroughly to ensure everything remained on track while I was away. The refrigerator was stocked, school outfits were laid out, and I had organized rides for my children to and from school. My partner may struggle in the kitchen, but he’s a fantastic father, so I felt confident about their well-being. I didn’t provide extensive instructions because, let’s be honest, if the house was still intact and the kids were unharmed when I returned, I would consider it a success.
And so, I departed.
The first message arrived soon after I had left home. “Hey, the school is locked. How do we get in?” Seriously? It’s 2023; schools are secured for safety reasons. “This isn’t new, dear. Just ring the buzzer, and they’ll let you in,” I replied, perhaps rolling my eyes as I quickly returned my phone to my bag, hoping this wasn’t an omen of things to come.
To my surprise, my mother, who seems to prefer my partner over me (which is fine), offered to babysit for a few days while I was away. I can’t recall her ever extending such an offer to me in the past when he traveled solo. Nevertheless, the kids were with her when I received my next call.
“I think they’re coming down with something,” she said. Of course, they are. “Just bring them back to their dad. I’m currently enjoying margaritas and chips three states away,” was what I wanted to say. Instead, I held back, feeling the familiar pangs of mom guilt, worried that my children might be unwell without me around.
My mother reassured me it was likely just a cold and promised to keep me updated. Yet, I found myself anxious for the next 12 hours.
The following morning, my phone buzzed again. “Hi, I’m at the elementary school, but Claire says she feels like she’s going to vomit.” Seriously? I had only been gone for a day!
My six-year-old is known for her flair for the dramatic, so distinguishing between genuine illness and a ploy to stay home with Grandma and indulge in candy was challenging. I decided to let her skip school, telling my mom, “If she’s really sick, I’ll eat my boot.” Thankfully, no one was there to hold me to that statement because 15 minutes later, Mother called back to report that Claire had thrown up in her car. I felt a surge of guilt and offered to return home, knowing that my mom’s car would forever bear the scent of vomit. Once again, she reassured me that they were heading home for a bath.
The rest of the day was filled with pictures of Claire, who seemed perfectly fine while dancing around and indulging in snacks. It seemed like a risky choice, but it wasn’t my carpet. Later, my partner picked up the kids, and I braced myself for the next call, which I knew was imminent.
This time, I received a picture message of a massive brush fire. I was only joking when I told him not to burn the house down, but now I was genuinely concerned. When I inquired for more details, he mentioned he would call back, as our four-year-old had jumped into a creek… fully dressed… in 40-degree weather.
For any fathers reading this, a more prudent approach would have been to say, “Hey, I’ll call you right back,” while omitting any references to potential drownings.
After what felt like an eternity, my partner finally called back to say that the creek was almost dry and everyone was safe.
Imagine my astonishment upon returning home the next day to find the house still intact. The dishes, however, were piled high, and I would never again be caught up on laundry. Yet, everyone had survived. Ultimately, that was my only request when I left home, so it seemed I got precisely what I wished for.
For more insights and guidelines on parenting, you might find useful resources at intracervicalinsemination.com and resolve.org. And if you’re interested in starting a family, check out our post on the at-home insemination kit for more information.
Summary
This article chronicles a mother’s experience of leaving home for a few days, only to find chaos unfolding in her absence. With a series of unexpected incidents involving her children and husband, she navigates the ups and downs of parenting with humor and resilience. Ultimately, she returns to a house that is still standing, affirming the importance of survival over perfection in parenting.