The first time I organized a “Friendsgiving,” I was a young newlywed at the tender age of 20, with cooking skills limited to instant ramen and the occasional Rice-A-Roni. Having just moved three states away from my family to a tiny apartment near my husband’s Air Force base, I was feeling completely overwhelmed.
Being part of a military family often means spending holidays apart from loved ones, and many of our friends were in similar situations. Instead of succumbing to loneliness, we decided to bring everyone together for a feast, ensuring that no one had to celebrate Thanksgiving alone.
I can’t recall everything I prepared, but I distinctly remember pulling a long, unidentifiable object from my thawed turkey and panicking. I called my mom in a state of shock, certain I had unearthed the turkey’s penis. After a hearty laugh, she informed me it was just the neck. Given my inexperience, I have no doubt the rest of the meal was far from gourmet, yet no one seemed to mind that the gravy required a knife to slice. Friends brought frozen desserts, bakery rolls, and cheap bottles of wine, and we shared laughter and joy together.
It’s tough to feel isolated, but that sense of loneliness intensifies on holidays like Thanksgiving, which is inherently family-oriented. Unlike Halloween or St. Patrick’s Day, where one can easily find a party, Thanksgiving is steeped in family traditions that can make being alone feel particularly painful.
Enter Friendsgiving: a chance to celebrate the holiday with others who may also be away from family or who prefer a different approach to the day. When friends come together for Thanksgiving, everyone benefits. The camaraderie is almost guaranteed, unlike family gatherings that can sometimes involve awkward encounters with relatives.
At our Friendsgiving, it’s not unusual for someone to bring a dish that reflects their culture, such as a vibrant plate of pad thai nestled between the stuffing and sweet potato casserole. Plus, the potluck style means less stress for the host and more time to relax.
Now that I’m a parent, what I cherish most about hosting Friendsgiving is the message it imparts to my children: we care, we share, and we include everyone. No one should ever feel isolated.
Fast forward nearly two decades from that first Friendsgiving, and my cooking skills have improved significantly. I can confidently prepare a turkey without panicking over its anatomy! However, one constant remains: the diversity of our Thanksgiving table and the open invitation for anyone to join us, regardless of their background. I hope our children embrace this spirit of togetherness and carry on the tradition of celebrating Friendsgiving in their own homes someday, even if their early culinary attempts are less than stellar.
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In summary, Friendsgiving has evolved into a beloved tradition that brings joy to many who may otherwise feel alone during the holidays. It’s a time for inclusivity, laughter, and the celebration of diverse backgrounds, ensuring that everyone has a place at the table.