As Father’s Day approaches, I find myself reflecting on my role as a single mom. The other day, while picking up my son Lucas from preschool, a little girl from his class tugged at my sleeve and asked, “Where is Lucas’s daddy?” Without hesitation, I smiled and replied, “He doesn’t have a daddy.” The little girl looked puzzled, and before I could grab Lucas’s lunchbox and escape the inevitable barrage of questions, she asked, “Did his daddy die?”
“No,” I explained gently. “Lucas just doesn’t have a dad. Some families have both parents; others have just moms, or dads, or maybe grandparents. Lucas has me and a sister, and that’s his family.”
This response seemed to leave her baffled, and while she was still processing, Lucas piped up, “I tried a new food today, Mom! Can we go to Target?” Unfazed by the conversation, he was ready to celebrate his little achievement with a trip for a reward. Yes, we can go to Target for a prize for trying diced pears—great job, buddy!
At five years old, Lucas is blissfully unaware of societal norms surrounding family structures. He understands, in a simple way, that he just doesn’t have a dad, and he’s perfectly okay with it. In fact, he’s thriving—happy, funny, sharp, and full of life. He loves monster trucks, video games, and soccer. He’s a sweet, affectionate child who brings joy to everyone around him.
The reasons behind our family dynamic are part of my past, not something I dwell on or wish to change. I genuinely enjoy being a solo parent and believe that the choice to raise Lucas alone was the best decision for both of us. Sure, juggling a career and parenting can be draining and sometimes financially challenging, but I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. I may be turning a bit gray, but thankfully, hair dye is readily available in non-drip foam!
As we near Father’s Day, I prepare for the inevitable school activities celebrating dads. Each year, I have to talk with Lucas’s teacher about the class projects that involve making gifts for fathers. I kindly inform her that I will be attending the breakfast for dads and suggest that Lucas can create his crafts for his grandpa or uncle instead. I look forward to proudly displaying the handmade gifts he creates, like the painted jewelry box I received for Mother’s Day.
This message is for all the incredible single moms out there, as well as the hardworking moms who are doing their part to fill both parental roles. It’s also a nod to the single dads raising kids alone who deserve recognition, perhaps with their own handmade crafts in class. Maybe it’s time we reimagine these holidays as Parent’s Day, allowing us to celebrate all caregivers twice a year—because who could say no to a delightful brunch?
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In summary, being a single mom means wearing many hats—nurturer, provider, and even a father figure in some respects. It’s a unique journey filled with challenges and triumphs, and while I may not fit the traditional mold, I embrace my role wholeheartedly.