My mind races and my heart beats faster when I receive a message from a friend saying, “I need to talk to you,” only to have the conversation drop off. Instantly, my thoughts spiral into worst-case scenarios. What’s going on? Did I say or do something wrong? Is she facing a crisis with her family?
Living with generalized anxiety is no small feat. I’ve grappled with this condition for as long as I can remember, but it wasn’t until my thirties that I received an official diagnosis. In response, I turned to anxiety medication and began therapy when other natural methods didn’t work for me. These steps marked turning points in my journey.
Despite medication, mindfulness practices, a balanced diet, and therapy, anxiety still lingers; it no longer controls my life but rather shows up as an unwelcome guest. However, specific triggers can still send me spiraling. For instance, the sterile, antiseptic smell of hospitals immediately unsettles me, due to my experiences as a breast cancer survivor and type 1 diabetic. Similarly, even hearing about a minor car accident can unearth memories of a traumatic 15-car pile-up I was in as a child, leaving me feeling vulnerable and uneasy.
While many people may experience anxiety in common situations, such as public speaking, those of us with generalized anxiety disorder tend to magnify everyday events into catastrophes. This can lead to physical symptoms like racing hearts, stomach aches, and feelings of dizziness. Other types of anxiety include social anxiety, time anxiety, and selective mutism.
Interestingly, my friend’s urgent text ended up being about a hurtful comment she received regarding her son’s special needs, not a crisis at all. She reached out to share her frustrations and seek support, demonstrating how easily misunderstandings can arise.
Over the years, I’ve often criticized myself for my anxiety. I’ve learned that a simple 20-minute meditation session won’t magically resolve my feelings; it’s more like a band-aid on a deep wound. Negative self-talk doesn’t help, and neither does the well-meaning advice from others. Phrases like “just relax” or “take a chill pill” only amplify my anxiety, making me feel more isolated.
Dr. Emily Roberts, a therapist and mental health advocate, explains that while techniques like deep breathing can be beneficial, they require prior training to be effective. Simply telling someone to breathe deeply without guidance may not offer relief.
How to Support Someone with Anxiety
So, how can friends and family truly support someone dealing with anxiety? Instead of dismissive phrases like “you’re overreacting,” it’s crucial to approach the situation with empathy. Dr. Roberts suggests breaking down the fears into manageable parts, which can help the anxious individual feel more in control.
During a panic attack, characterized by symptoms like shortness of breath and intense fear, a supportive friend can help by guiding the individual to a quieter environment or engaging them in a simple distraction, such as naming objects around the room. If the person takes medication, being there while they wait for it to take effect can also be comforting.
Ultimately, while breathing exercises can be a useful tool, they are not a cure-all. Anxiety is complex and requires understanding, compassion, and patience from loved ones. By fostering an environment of acceptance and distraction rather than judgment, we can truly help those we care about.
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In summary, supporting someone with anxiety requires patience and understanding. Instead of offering simplistic solutions, we should strive to validate their feelings and provide meaningful support during difficult times.