Capturing Kids: The Four Stages of Frustration

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When it comes to photographing children, even the most well-thought-out plans can go awry. You might dress them in charming outfits, utilize beautiful lighting, and wield the latest camera technology. With an array of props and picture-perfect locations, you might feel ready to create something truly memorable. But getting a decent group shot of your kids can feel like trying to herd cats. This is precisely why professional photographers are in such high demand: taking photos of kids can often lead to exasperation, and it typically unfolds in four distinct phases.

Phase One: Hopefulness

You begin with a sense of excitement. Your little ones look adorable! Those outfits are on point and their hair is neatly styled. This photo is going to be a hit on social media. You call the kids over, arrange them carefully, and while they don’t seem overly enthusiastic, you maintain an upbeat demeanor, hoping it will influence them to smile. They hold the pose—fantastic! This is going to be an epic photo!

Phase Two: Reality Sets In

As you encourage them to smile, the first hurdle appears: one child is sporting a ridiculous “picture face,” the exaggerated smile that resembles a startled deer—perhaps even a constipated one. You ask them to look more natural, but that cue leads one of them to slacken their features into a droopy expression. Just as you think you’ve finally achieved a normal look, you raise the camera only to find it’s out of focus. In those fleeting moments, one child stands up, another starts a squabble, and someone else gazes far away from the lens. Their patience is dwindling, and it feels like a never-ending cycle of repositioning.

Phase Three: Desperation

Frustration mounts as you sense everyone’s patience, especially yours, running thin. Your voice takes on an impatient tone as you call out commands:

  • “Smile! SMILE! SMIIII-LE!”
  • “Get in closer! … CLOSER!” (You wave your hands like a mad person.)
  • “He’s supposed to be touching you!”
  • “No, your brother doesn’t stink!”
  • “Please, just look right here! Look at me! STOP making that face!”
  • “Can we PLEASE just get a picture?!”

You begin to wonder if it’s too much to ask for them to stand still and smile like normal human beings just long enough for you to snap a decent photo.

Phase Four: Acceptance

The dream of the perfect shot fades, and you shift your focus to capturing at least one image where everyone’s eyes are aimed at the camera and no one looks completely out of sorts. You abandon the idea of a cute pose, opting instead for a tight cluster that fits into the frame. The kids suggest saying “buttholes” instead of “cheese,” and you’re too exhausted to protest; at least it garners genuine smiles. You fire off a barrage of photos, hoping that one might turn out alright. Eventually, you declare the session over, and they scatter like leaves in the wind.

As you scroll through the photos, deleting the ones that are blurry or just plain awful, you come across one that isn’t too shabby. However, instead of discarding it, you choose to share it, pretending that you were aiming for an authentic candid shot all along. You might even caption it with something witty like, “LOVE capturing these candid moments of my little ones!”

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In summary, capturing children on camera is a journey filled with hope, reality checks, desperation, and ultimately acceptance. While the quest for the perfect photo can often lead to frustration, it’s essential to embrace the candid moments that truly reflect the joy of childhood.