It seems like every day brings a new viral social media post or article that criticizes parents for the state of the world. From allowing children to use devices at restaurants to accusations of being overly involved or “soft,” the parental blame game is relentless. When crises occur, it’s common to hear remarks like “parents just aren’t involved anymore” or nostalgic comparisons to the “good old days” when parenting supposedly thrived.
As someone raised in the 80s, I can attest that while there were many enjoyable aspects of childhood back then, there were equally significant issues. Boys were often told to “man up,” and girls faced systemic discouragement from aspiring to careers in science or politics. Bullying was rampant, and adults often dismissed it with a “toughen up” attitude. Yes, there were positives to growing up in that era, but the idea that previous generations were more engaged or serious about parenting is fundamentally flawed. We were the first generation of “latchkey kids,” after all.
In the wake of recent tragedies, the scrutiny on today’s parents has intensified. Critics argue we allow excessive screen time, fail to encourage outdoor play, or neglect responsibilities such as signing school letters. The blame is unrelenting.
This tendency to blame parents for societal issues is not only cruel but also unproductive. Parents today are acutely aware of their shortcomings; we juggle hectic schedules while striving to provide opportunities for our children, from learning languages to participating in sports. We navigate the complexities of modern parenting, such as discussing topics like cyberbullying and sexting—challenges earlier generations never faced. Despite the perception that we are overly focused on playdates, many children still enjoy traditional outdoor play.
There are countless reasons why a parent might appear disengaged. A parent missing a school concert could be working a night shift. The one who forgets to submit a school form may be caring for an elderly relative or simply overwhelmed with daily life. A parent who allows their child to use an iPad during dinner might have spent their day nurturing creativity at a museum, needing a moment of peace afterward.
It’s essential to recognize that appearances can be misleading. Therefore, let’s refrain from jumping to conclusions.
At the end of the day, it should be clear that access to dangerous weapons by troubled teens is the real issue, not the supposed failures of a generation of parents trying their best. Even the most devoted parents can face challenges with their children, as demonstrated by the case of a troubled youth whose mother sought help for him prior to her passing.
Even minor missteps can occur. A child raised with values of kindness may still falter and act out at school. After all, they are still learning and growing.
While today’s parents may not be perfect, neither were parents from previous generations. We’re all making our best efforts, just as those before us did. Parenting is a monumental responsibility, and we constantly face reminders of our perceived failures.
As you reminisce about the past, with its big hair and iconic music, remember that nostalgia for how parenting used to be shouldn’t shift blame onto today’s parents.
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In summary, let’s stop the cycle of blame directed at parents for societal challenges. Each generation faces its unique set of struggles, and parenting, while daunting, is done with the best intentions.