In a recent advice column that has left the internet in disbelief, a mother reached out seeking guidance on an incredibly insensitive matter. The parent, who has a daughter preparing to tie the knot, asked whether it would be appropriate to request that her daughter’s best friend, who has a limp, be excluded from the wedding party. Yes, you read that correctly: she wants to sideline her daughter’s lifelong friend simply due to her physical condition.
The mother attempted to justify her request by noting that her daughter, now 27, and her friend, Mia, have been inseparable since childhood—she even described Mia as being “like a daughter” to her. However, she went on to express that she believes Mia’s limp could detract from the visual appeal of the wedding, suggesting instead that Mia could take photos or hand out programs from a seat to avoid “ruining the aesthetic.”
This absurd request prompted a strong response from Daniel Mallory Ortberg, the voice of the advice column, who expressed his disbelief over such a callous inquiry. He encouraged the mother to reconsider her stance, suggesting she might come across like the antagonist in a Reese Witherspoon film—spoiler alert: she absolutely does.
“A limp is not an imperfection,” Ortberg emphasized. “It’s a part of Mia’s life, and it’s not only wrong to suggest excluding her over this—it’s ableist, cruel, and reflects a significant lack of empathy.” He advised the mother to apologize to her daughter, although it seems that their relationship is already strained, hinting that this isn’t the first time she has behaved insensitively.
There are so many issues wrapped up in this shocking letter. First off, how could someone think this way? It’s astonishing that a mother would even consider excluding someone from a wedding based on their mobility. Additionally, it’s crucial to recognize that this is not the mother’s wedding—it’s her daughter’s special day.
Ortberg’s final advice was poignant: “I encourage you to deeply reflect on your attitude.” Perhaps she could do that while assisting with the wedding preparations in a more supportive role, such as helping with the event planning or organizing the seating arrangements.
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In summary, this mother’s request highlights a troubling lack of empathy and understanding, ultimately prompting a larger discussion about kindness and acceptance.