July 21, 2023
In the summer months, my partner, Mark, really leans into his grilling obsession. He’s genuinely enthusiastic about trying out new recipes and experimenting with fancy grilling gadgets. There have been nights when he’s stayed up late smoking pulled pork for a gathering the next day.
As a vegetarian, I don’t get to enjoy much of his culinary creations, but there’s one major perk: he handles the grocery shopping. His passion for grilling means he has specific food preferences and grocery requests, which takes the pressure off me. Instead of boring me with details about the nuances between a tri-tip and a flank steak, he takes charge of the grocery list.
And let me tell you—he’s fantastic at it. Most weekends, particularly during the summer, he prepares an extensive shopping list, returns home with bags overflowing with everything we need, and often a few unexpected items too. Sure, he forgets the reusable bags sometimes and occasionally buys the wrong cereal (my kids favor the sugary kind while he opts for the more health-conscious options). And yes, he has a habit of splurging on exotic fruits that leave me scratching my head.
But honestly? I love when Mark takes on grocery duties, even if that massive jackfruit he once brought home (seriously, what is a jackfruit?!) cost as much as a decent bottle of wine. Not only does it mean culinary adventures await, but it also saves me from the chaos of shopping with our two hungry boys on a Tuesday afternoon. He gets the food he wants, and it shows our sons that men can actively participate in household chores. It’s a total win-win.
You know what else he excels at? Being a dad. Mark handles errands, feeds the kids, and drives them to baseball practice. Although I’m usually the one managing these tasks as the stay-at-home parent, he steps in whenever he can—and he does it remarkably well. He takes our eldest to piano lessons and somehow manages to get him to practice at home—a feat I can only achieve through bribery and a lot of yelling. He navigates the aisles of Target with two kids in tow on weekends and stays remarkably calm. He even takes our rowdy children out to restaurants alone, keeping them in their seats while they discuss sports, Star Wars, and whose farts are the stinkiest.
Sure, he does things differently than I do—like folding towels the “wrong” way and forgetting to put his socks in the hamper—but he flat-dries sweaters and avoids shrinking T-shirts, something I’ve struggled with over the years.
Too often, I hear women lament about how their partners don’t contribute around the house or bungle tasks when they do. Or I hear tales of dads who play dumb about grocery shopping and laundry, hoping that if they do a lackluster job, they’ll get a free pass. Well, enough of that nonsense!
Listen up, dads: stop pretending you don’t know how to handle these responsibilities. You’re not clueless; you’re fully grown men with jobs and families. Step up and tackle the grocery shopping, laundry, or both. Your partner needs your support, so go out there and own it!
And ladies, let’s ease up on micromanaging. Our partners are perfectly capable of managing household tasks. Moms and dads may have different styles, but if it leads to a better work-life balance, who cares? Except when it comes to towel folding—there’s definitely a right way to do that.
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In summary, let’s embrace the idea that dads can grocery shop and manage kids just as effectively as moms can. By allowing each other the space to tackle these responsibilities, we create a healthier, more balanced family dynamic.