I am currently nursing my 2-year-old, Leo, alongside my 5-year-old, Max. Yes, I’m one of those tandem breastfeeding moms you hear about. While I don’t share many photos of Max nursing anymore—since he typically only breastfeeds to fall asleep at night or briefly during the day when he remembers—most of my posts feature Leo, who still nurses frequently.
Recently, someone commented on a Facebook photo, saying, “He’s too old to breastfeed.” I was taken aback, as I thought I had shared a picture of Leo. Upon checking, I confirmed it was indeed Leo—my little one. Apparently, at 2 years old, he’s considered too old to breastfeed. It took all my restraint not to post a photo of Max with a comment asking how old he was when he stopped!
There’s so much wrong with this mindset that it’s hard to know where to start. It frustrates me how our society rushes children to grow up. Sure, Leo isn’t a newborn, but have you spent time with a 2-year-old? They’re not that far removed from infancy, often still struggling with language and coordination. I assure you, I have no plans to force him to grow up any faster.
It’s astonishing how we label our children as they age, as if we’re trying to push them into adulthood at a breakneck speed. At the playground, I often hear parents say things like, “Watch out for the baby!” That sounds right to me.
I remember when Max turned 1; I was eager for him to grow into a toddler. Looking back at photos, I now see that he was still very much a baby.
Currently, I trust my instincts. Just because Max has the vocabulary of an adult doesn’t mean he’s any older. Despite society’s expectations, he remains just a young child—much closer to infancy than adulthood. Meanwhile, Leo still feels like a baby to me. And just like breastmilk doesn’t magically change when children reach certain ages, our kids don’t suddenly become different people on their birthdays. I’ll call Leo a baby until he no longer seems like one.
Is a 2-year-old too old to breastfeed? It’s disheartening to think about the societal pressures that say otherwise. When exactly is the cutoff? Who wrote these breastfeeding rules, and why can’t I get a copy? Someone should inform Leo that he’s “too old”—he certainly doesn’t seem to know! He’s nursing day and night, as if he thinks it’s perfectly normal.
Women face enough challenges without having to deal with stigma around breastfeeding and our bodies. It’s disheartening when someone observes a loving mother nurturing her child and decides there’s something wrong with it. A 2-year-old? Wow.
I appreciate how much my perspective has shifted over the years. To me, Leo still seems like a young nursling, while Max feels completely normal. I know I wouldn’t have thought this way five years ago; I would have found the idea of nursing a 5-year-old odd. But honestly, if you think he’s too old, keep it to yourself—nobody asked your opinion.
This article was originally published on Aug. 20, 2016.
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Summary:
Breastfeeding a 2-year-old is completely normal despite societal pressures suggesting otherwise. This piece explores the experiences of a tandem breastfeeding mom, highlighting the misconceptions surrounding breastfeeding beyond infancy and encouraging a more accepting attitude towards extended nursing.