Every parent knows the classic question: “How was school today?” For ages, kids have responded with a bland, “fine.” But let’s be honest—nothing is ever just “fine.” This vague response is what people say when they don’t want to delve deeper. “Fine” is the polite answer from the cashier at the grocery store, not the emotional connection I crave when I ask my three children about their day.
I understand that my kids are growing up and need their independence, but I still want insight into their daily lives. The challenge lies in knowing how to elicit those deeper conversations.
Timing is crucial. I’ve found that the car is often the best place for a chat, but my kids may not be ready to open up right after school. My twelve-year-old prefers sharing during family dinners, while my youngest, Lucy, is more talkative at bedtime—even if that’s not the most convenient time for me. My teenager, Mia, is unpredictable; some days she’s open to discussing her day, and other days, she’s too busy with homework to engage (ouch!).
It’s not just about getting them to talk; I also need to practice active listening. With dinner prep and after-school activities creating chaos, I’ve had my share of interrupted conversations. I’ve learned to pause, listen, and absorb when my kids finally share their thoughts and feelings.
To help you break through the “fine” barrier, here are 21 thought-provoking questions to try:
- What was the highlight of your day?
- What exciting event stood out to you?
- What’s the most intriguing part of your classroom?
- What was the dullest activity you did today?
- How did you show kindness today?
- If you could give your teacher a fun nickname, what would it be?
- Who had the best lunch in class?
- What was the funniest moment today?
- What made you laugh?
- What act of kindness did you perform today?
- What was something helpful someone did for you?
- What do you like most about your teacher?
- If you could pick anyone to sit by in class, who would it be?
- What games did you play at recess?
- Did you create anything cool today?
- Do you think the classroom rules are fair?
- Is there anything that puzzled you today?
- Did you feel confused about anything?
- What was your biggest challenge today?
- Is there something specific you want me to know about your day?
- What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
As I encourage my kids to share their experiences, I also make it a point to thank them for opening up. This shows them that I value their feelings and encourages them to continue sharing. It’s the best way to combat my mom FOMO—if only there were classroom nanny cams… just kidding (or am I?).
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In summary, engaging your children in conversation can take effort, but with the right questions and a willingness to listen, you can foster deeper connections and understand their daily lives better.