In recent times, names like Jamal Carter, Lisa Nguyen, and Derek Ellis have come to the forefront of discussions around racial injustice. The tragic circumstances surrounding their deaths have revealed the true sentiments of many individuals, who, emboldened by the safety of their keyboards, have posted comments that include “all lives matter,” “we’re all one race,” and claims of being “colorblind.” They assert their affection for everyone, whether they are Black, white, or even some fantastical color. Such neutrality is not only frustrating but dangerously naive. These individuals fail to recognize that their actions contribute to systemic racism; they misinterpret their cordiality as a sign of moral superiority.
Why do they think this way? Because they regard themselves as kind individuals. They refrain from using racial slurs, raise their children to be inclusive, and even roll their eyes at their family members’ outdated jokes. They share their lives with friends from various backgrounds. However, this façade of kindness is often shallow and rooted in white privilege. Let me clarify: simply being nice to people of color does not equate to being anti-racist.
The reality is that gestures of kindness—like greeting a Black woman or complimenting a Latino man—fall far short of the true anti-racist work necessary to dismantle systemic issues. You might be asking, what constitutes anti-racism? That’s a valid question, and it’s time to delve deeper.
The concept of anti-racism was notably articulated by activist Angela Davis, who stated, “In a racist society, it is not enough to be non-racist; we must be anti-racist.” Ibram X. Kendi, an influential contemporary author, emphasizes in his work, How to Be Antiracist, that there is no such thing as “not racist.” You are either racist or anti-racist.
Being a good person—exhibiting basic manners—does not equate to being anti-racist. Plenty of so-called “nice” racists can be found in everyday settings: grocery stores, parks, and workplaces. They might smile at my children or praise their hairstyles, but their underlying beliefs remain harmful. They may even sponsor children in need or boast about having “one Black friend,” yet none of these actions absolve them of racist ideologies.
Davis pointed out that in a society that privileges whiteness, racist ideas are often normalized across various platforms. This fact cannot be overstated: racism is woven into the fabric of our culture and often goes unrecognized. It has become an American tradition, perpetuated by many, including those who see themselves as kind-hearted.
Engaging in anti-racist work requires discomfort and deep introspection. This is not a superficial endeavor; it demands a commitment to recognizing one’s privileges as a white person—privileges that grant certain rights and opportunities simply due to skin color. What you do with this awareness matters. Understanding the privileges that people of color lack can lead to greater empathy and insight into the importance of movements like Black Lives Matter. It can help you grasp the reasons behind the protests and the anger that drives them, steering clear of deflections like “black-on-black crime” or “the race card.”
Anti-racists acknowledge that their work is ongoing. They read literature on allyship, scrutinize their own relationships and social media interactions, and deliberately support businesses owned by people of color. They confront friends, family, and colleagues when they witness racist comments or behaviors without softening their critique with “I know you didn’t mean it” or similar phrases.
This approach may seem unfamiliar, but it is a necessary shift. White privilege has conditioned many to assume that their perspectives are inherently valid and safe. Transitioning from mere niceness to active anti-racism is challenging and requires courage to confront previously held beliefs.
If you genuinely care about the plight of people of color, particularly in light of ongoing violence against Black individuals, it’s time for action. A mere nod to someone of color does not constitute anti-racism; it signals complacency. True change occurs when you recognize others as equals—human beings deserving of dignity.
In public spaces, we encounter many well-meaning white individuals. However, we must apply the same caution we teach our children regarding safety. Racists can masquerade as friendly individuals, using charm to hide their harmful beliefs. Until we truly know someone, they must earn our trust.
I sincerely hope that those who identify as “nice” will actively pursue anti-racism. Otherwise, they will continue to exist as comfortable allies of a system that perpetuates inequality.
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Summary
Being nice to people of color does not equate to being anti-racist. True anti-racism requires understanding and addressing systemic inequalities. It involves recognizing white privilege, confronting racist behaviors, and committing to ongoing education and activism. Simply being cordial or having a diverse social circle falls short of meaningful engagement in the fight against racism.