In today’s parenting landscape, there’s a popular mantra circulating: “Don’t raise jerks.” While this sentiment is commendable, I believe it’s insufficient. Simply avoiding jerk-like behavior is not enough; we must aim higher. In a world rife with hatred and discrimination, the bar needs to be set much higher than just not being a jerk.
Merely refraining from negative behavior doesn’t define you as a good person. True goodness comes from actively engaging in positive actions. Being a responsible citizen is not a passive endeavor; it requires us to be proactive and strive for better.
As my children have grown, discussions around inappropriate behavior have become more frequent. These conversations often arise from incidents at school, media portrayals, or even the conduct of public figures. Like many parents, my partner and I use these moments as teaching opportunities. Our kids are quick to recognize unjust actions, but it’s crucial for them to understand that it’s not enough to just avoid being the bully on the playground. They need to confront the bully, support those being targeted, and seek help when someone is creating a hostile environment.
Recently, while watching an episode of a classic show, my child noticed how a group of students took a stand against the Vietnam War by organizing a walkout. When questioned about the potential consequences, I explained that while they were technically breaking school rules, standing up for their beliefs often comes with challenges. It’s not always easy to tell a friend or an adult that their behavior is unacceptable. However, I emphasized that sometimes, doing what’s right requires us to disrupt the status quo, even if it means facing backlash.
One evening, my child and I had plans to enjoy dinner and a movie, but then I learned about protests at the airport regarding a recent executive order that personally affected our family. We had a choice: stick to our plans or take action. I posed the question, “Should we go to the protests to voice our opposition?” My child chose to stand up for what is right, and so we went to join the protest together.
I often see parents adopting the “just don’t be a jerk” attitude as an easy way out of conflict, and I find this deeply troubling. Whether it’s addressing bullying, advocating for justice, or supporting those without a voice, we must do more than just avoid being the aggressor. We need to actively resist those who perpetuate harm and empower our children to do the same.
It’s important to clarify that fighting back against unfair treatment does not mean resorting to meanness or violence. I firmly believe in nonviolent solutions. However, advocating for what’s right sometimes requires us to step outside our comfort zones. It means using our voices to stand up against injustice and support one another.
Even when the world seems overwhelming and negativity prevails, I refuse to succumb to a pessimistic outlook. There are far more compassionate individuals than there are those who cause harm. However, simply being kind is no longer enough. We must take tangible actions to improve the world and defend those who are vulnerable.
Let’s shift our focus from merely avoiding jerk-like behavior to actively caring for each other. After all, it’s our responsibility to foster a supportive and just community.