I often express my gratitude to my husband for the little things he does. Whether it’s taking the kids to the park while I decompress after a challenging day or changing a particularly unpleasant diaper that I was all too aware of, I want him to know that his efforts are appreciated. I thank him for encouraging me to spend time with friends, especially when the guilt of being a mom tugs at me to stay home.
Yet, I can’t help but notice how some husbands seem to struggle with the basics. I hear stories from friends about their partners who have never been alone with the kids in the evenings or who sulk because dinner isn’t ready when they get home. Meanwhile, my friend is juggling sick children and feeling guilty, but her partner won’t even stop for pizza on the way home.
After these conversations, I always find myself thanking my husband for not being a total jerk. He often downplays the idea that simply avoiding being a terrible husband is enough to earn praise. But let’s be honest: it really isn’t that complicated to be a decent partner. There are two simple rules to follow:
- Be kind.
- Be considerate.
That’s it. Just two things. If you find that these expectations are too much for you, it’s time for some serious self-reflection. Look in the mirror and remind yourself to stop being a lazy husband and start stepping up.
Every marriage has its own unique balance of responsibilities. Sometimes, one partner takes on more cooking, and that can work if both agree. What doesn’t work is walking in the door at the end of the day and grunting about dinner instead of greeting your wife with warmth and asking how you can contribute.
Better yet, don’t even ask. Use your eyes and your brain to assess what needs to be done. Is the table empty? Start setting it. Are there carrots and a cutting board on the countertop? Get chopping. It’s that simple.
If you’re a husband who coasts through life while your wife clears a path for you, you’re likely taking advantage of her efforts. If she’s lamenting her lack of time for a simple shower and you’ve never lifted a finger to help, you’re failing at your role.
Your job as her partner is to be kind and considerate. If you can’t even pull yourself off the couch to entertain your own children while she takes a moment for herself, you’re not fulfilling your duties. If you belittle her efforts or question what she does all day, you’re doing it wrong. I mean, how hard is it to care for your own kids and maintain your home?
Just remember: all you have to do is not be a jerk and think about the needs of the one person who consistently anticipates yours. The one you vowed to love and cherish. Follow those two simple rules, and you’ll at least be a decent husband.
Failing to be nice and considerate? Congratulations, you’ve just become another child for her to look after, and you might find yourself dividing assets in a divorce because she deserves so much better. So, do your job—now.
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Summary
Being a good husband is straightforward—just be kind and considerate. Many men fail to meet even these minimal expectations, contributing to an unbalanced partnership. If you want a happy marriage, step up, help out, and show gratitude. If not, you risk losing everything.