I often express gratitude to my husband for the little things he does. I genuinely appreciate him, especially on days when he takes the kids to the park, giving me a much-needed break after a tough day at home. I thank him for tackling that diaper I could smell from a mile away and for encouraging me to go out with friends when the guilt of leaving the house creeps in.
But then there are moments when I hear about another husband who can’t manage a few hours alone with the kids, or one who sulks because dinner isn’t ready when he gets home. It’s baffling. My friend was unwell, managing a household of sick kids, yet her husband couldn’t even pick up a pizza on his way home. I walk away from these stories grateful for my husband, who isn’t a complete jerk. Yet, he often dismisses the idea that being a good husband simply means not being a bad one.
This isn’t about bragging; it’s about questioning what’s going on with those husbands who can’t even meet the most basic expectations. It’s not hard to be a decent partner—there are just two essential rules to follow:
- Be kind.
- Be considerate.
That’s it. Just two simple things. If these seem beyond your capabilities, it’s time for some serious self-reflection. Look in the mirror and tell yourself to grow up and stop being a jerk.
Every marriage has its own rhythm, and sometimes one partner handles more household tasks than the other—that’s perfectly fine as long as it’s agreed upon. What’s unacceptable is stumbling through the door and grumbling about dinner instead of greeting your wife and asking how you can pitch in. Better yet, don’t ask. Use your eyes and your brain to assess what needs to be done. If the table is bare, start setting it. If you see carrots and a cutting board, chop them up. It’s that simple.
If you’re a husband who breezes through life while your wife clears the path for you, it’s time to reevaluate. If she’s lamenting her lack of time for a shower, and you do nothing to help, you’re failing at your role. Your job is to be kind and considerate.
If you can’t even get off the couch to watch the kids while she takes a real shower—one that doesn’t involve her trying to rinse off grime from four days—you’re not doing your job. If you belittle her efforts, question what she does all day, or offer no gratitude, you’re failing. If you act clueless about caring for your children or managing household tasks, you’re not measuring up.
All you need to do is think about your wife’s needs—the one person who constantly anticipates yours. The one you promised to love and support. If you manage those two simple tasks, you’ll at least be a decent husband. If you can’t muster the decency to be nice and considerate, you’re just another child for her to care for. And if things don’t change, you might find yourself facing a divorce because she deserves better. So step up and do your job—now.
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In summary, being a good husband isn’t complicated. All it requires is kindness and consideration. If you can’t manage these basic principles, it’s time to reassess your role in the relationship.