I have a complicated relationship with travel. While I genuinely love the idea of exploring new places, my anxiety certainly does not share that enthusiasm. It often works overtime to deter me from going anywhere, especially when it involves venturing out on my own.
This past weekend, I found myself traveling solo to Muncie, Indiana, to attend the Midwest Writers Conference. Yes, I can hear the envy! Initially, my anxiety attempted a softer approach. It whispered doubts about the cost—“Is this really worth the money? Writing is just a hobby for you.” It questioned the timing—“You haven’t made much progress on your novel; perhaps you should wait until next year.” And, of course, it threw in some classic body shaming—“What if you get laughed at for your writing? You really should stick to online conferences where no one can see you.”
But when I refused to give in (thanks to my supportive partner, Jake, who booked my hotel), anxiety escalated. It unleashed a torrent of fears, and here are just ten of the many reasons it tried to convince me to cancel my trip:
- A fire might break out in your home.
- Your family could suffer a tragic car accident, leaving you alone with three cats who would definitely turn on you.
- You might end up in a car crash yourself, leaving your husband to remarry someone younger and hotter.
- One of your kids might choke on a grape—yes, the very grapes you intentionally left out of the house.
- Your child could fall out of a window.
- A child could run into oncoming traffic.
- One might even lock themselves inside the washing machine.
- They could put their head inside a plastic bag.
- Your husband could have a heart attack in the shower, and your child wouldn’t know how to call for help.
- You could end up as a victim in a crime drama, left in a cornfield because you dared to travel alone.
These thoughts plagued me for the entire eleven-hour car ride, not to mention the weeks leading up to my departure. And believe me, these are just the milder fears; anxiety loves to toy with my mind.
In a perfect world, my anxiety would prefer I stay home in my pajamas, engrossed in a book while my kids are locked away in padded rooms with only IV fluids for sustenance. But the truth is, I refuse to let anxiety dictate my life or my children’s futures.
We must model the resilience we want our kids to embody. If we desire them to become brave individuals, they need to see us embrace risks and pursue our passions. Anxiety feeds on fears—fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of taking risks. Confronting anxiety means stepping out of our comfort zones, no matter how uncomfortable it may feel. It means accepting that failure is part of the journey and persisting despite it.
Is it challenging? Absolutely! There are days I can’t even step outside because of it. But for the sake of my children, I must keep pushing forward.
I understand that I might still raise children who are apprehensive—anxiety can be hereditary. My goal is to recognize anxiety’s false narratives and act contrary to them. If anxiety says, “Don’t go,” I’ll go. If it insists I stay in bed, I’ll head to the beach instead. If it warns of danger, I’ll prepare, but I won’t let it stop me.
If anxiety wants to play dirty, then so will I.
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Summary
Navigating anxiety during solo travel presents unique challenges, but by confronting fears and demonstrating resilience, we can inspire our children to embrace risks and pursue their passions.