Parenting: A Journey Through Time
Before I embarked on the journey of parenthood, I felt confident in my understanding of time. I could manage my schedule, keep appointments, and meet deadlines with ease. However, that once-comfortable relationship with time transformed into a chaotic battle once my children arrived. Suddenly, my life revolved around the clock: mealtimes, bath times, playtimes, and the precious, much-needed naptimes. I quickly learned that I had to navigate my day around these events, or chaos would ensue.
My oldest child thrived on routine, measuring time in “how many sleeps” until the next activity. In contrast, my youngest was more spontaneous, preferring to embrace the moment rather than retreat into sleep. This balancing act of two polar opposites felt like part of the universe’s plan to keep me on my toes. Toddlers exist in a realm where time is irrelevant. Never, I repeat, never mention an event to a small child more than five minutes before it occurs. Their anticipation is explosive. “When are we seeing Santa? Is it time for Santa? Can it be time for Santa now? Mommy, Santa, Mommy!” Just a casual mention of Christmas in October will bombard you with reminders for the next three months.
Minutes lose their meaning in this whirlwind. They become grains of sand slipping through an hourglass—an hourglass that small, sticky fingers turn upside down, shake, and throw against the wall. You find yourself holding up a finger to indicate time while on a call: “Just a minute, sweetie.” At the grocery store: “Hold on a minute, darling.” Even in the bathroom: “For the love of all that’s holy, just a minute!”
Once, while waiting in a long line at the post office to send off six heavy boxes of holiday gifts, my little one declared a potty emergency. “Can you wait a minute, pumpkin?” I asked. She nodded, then let loose all over the counter. In toddler language, “wait a minute” clearly translates to “now.”
Parenthood is filled with immediate demands. During pregnancy, we learn to prioritize eating, sleeping, and laboring—all in the now. Babies cry for comfort now, and toddlers want everything at once. From the moment they can express themselves, it’s “Watch me! Are you watching? Look what I can do now!” It can be draining. Some days, you find yourself longing for time to speed up. Bedtime seems like a distant dream. If only they could walk, talk, or be more independent! Those days that feel like mere survival stretch on forever, yet days filled with laughter and rocking in your arms pass in the blink of an eye.
Eventually, as children grasp the concept of time, it doesn’t necessarily make life easier. The minutes you crave come with a twist—the dreaded “five more” added to every request. “Time for bed!” becomes “Five more minutes?” “Time for dinner!” turns into “Five more minutes! I’m almost at the next level!” Days become a frantic race, wondering how long it takes a child to finish their cereal, find their shoes, or walk to the car. The mad scramble for schedules often leaves you feeling like Alice, chasing the White Rabbit.
As the kids become teenagers, everything shifts again. Their requests turn into “later.” “When will you take out the trash?” “Later.” “Do you have homework?” “I’ll do it later.” “What time will you be home?” “Later.” Suddenly, their world expands beyond you, and those “now” moments transform into “whenever.” The urgency of earlier years fades, replaced by a longing to connect. You watch the clock uneasily when they’re out late, holding back your desire to reach out and talk about their struggles. Paradoxically, with fewer immediate demands, time seems to slip away faster. The days are long, but the years are fleeting.
As I approach the empty nest phase, I anticipate returning to a more predictable schedule. Ironically, I stopped wearing a watch a year ago. My oldest is turning 20 this week—a milestone that feels both surreal and nostalgic. All those “now,” “hurry up,” and “later” moments seem to blur together. Suddenly, I find myself wishing for just a little pause. Just a minute! Five more minutes? Yet, time, in its relentless rhythm, marches on.
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In summary, parenting is a unique experience marked by the contrasting demands of time. From the immediacy of early childhood to the delayed responses of teenagers, we navigate a landscape where time is both our ally and our adversary. As we look towards the future, we cherish the moments, both fleeting and enduring.