By: Jamie Thompson
Updated: Dec. 25, 2015
Originally Published: Sep. 23, 2014
Yesterday, I coached a swim meet alongside three other coaches from my team. One was a youthful college babysitter named Emma, and the other was a father of three, Mike, who is around my age. While we were chatting on the pool deck, Emma, who is just 22, posed a thought-provoking question to us both: “What percentage of parenting would you say is a struggle?”
After pondering for a moment, I replied, “At least 70%.” Mike chimed in, “But definitely not more than 97.5%.” Emma looked thoughtful and said, “I used to think I wanted kids, but now I’m starting to rethink that.” Immediately, Mike and I fell into the standard parent spiel about how that elusive 30% to 2.5% of joy makes it all worthwhile.
Reflecting on this, I realize I want to be more precise. Being a parent is akin to running an ultra-endurance marathon—an endless race that tests your physical, mental, and emotional limits. There are days when the countdown to bedtime begins before the kids have even woken up. Indeed, there are moments when 97.5% of parenting feels like an uphill battle. In fact, let’s be real—there are times when 99.9% of it is a struggle.
Consider the nights when your tiny baby cries uncontrollably for what seems like forever. Or when your two-year-old manages to turn a simple diaper change into a messy art project, smearing everything in sight. If you’re at the gym and your child screams for seven straight minutes, it’s hard to see the silver lining. And when you’ve had a few too many glasses of wine the night before, only to be awakened by your child at the crack of dawn, it’s downright exhausting.
Writing a blog post becomes an exercise in chaos when one child tries to yank the mouse off the desk while another slams action figures on the keyboard. The mess of a stomach bug, where your kids can’t yet recognize the signs of impending vomit, means your home suffers the consequences. Then there are the teenage years when your child tells you they hate you or completely disregards your advice.
When you find out your child is being bullied at school and there’s little you can do about it, you feel helpless. Watching your daughter get hurt by someone who doesn’t deserve her love is gut-wrenching. Or when your child battles anxiety, clinging to rituals for comfort, and you can’t fix it with a simple hug.
Fatigue can make you snap, and in moments of desperation, you may yell, “Shut the hell up!” only to feel like a failure afterward. It’s frustrating when your four-year-old looks you dead in the eye, grins, and does exactly what you told her not to do. No matter how far apart you place them in the car, they will still manage to annoy each other.
And let’s not forget the panic when your 14-year-old is late coming home, or the frustration of losing yet another pair of goggles. It’s the little things that can turn a good day sour. Even intimate moments with your partner can be disrupted when children become ill at the worst possible time.
On those particularly challenging days, when everything seems to go wrong, it’s easy to dwell on the negative. But even amidst the chaos, the tiny moments of joy make it bearable—a sweet kiss, a hand to hold, or the sight of your child sleeping peacefully. Seeing their smiles when they achieve something on their own, or enjoying a fun experience together can make all the struggles fade away.
Yes, the difficult days will often outnumber the good ones, yet those precious moments are what make it all worthwhile in the end. If you’re considering parenting, the journey may be tough, but it’s also filled with experiences that make you forget the rough patches.
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Summary
Parenting can often feel overwhelmingly challenging, with many days dominated by frustration and exhaustion. Yet, it’s the small, joyful moments that make the struggles worthwhile. Balancing the tough times with the sweet experiences is what ultimately defines the journey of parenthood.