Welcome to the Home Insemination Kit advice column, where our team of experts tackles your pressing questions about life, love, body image, parenting, and everything in between.
This week’s question:
What should you do when you’ve just had a baby, and everyone is eager to tell you how “amazing” you look, but your weight loss stems from mental health issues?
Dear Home Insemination Kit,
I welcomed my first child about six months ago and, surprisingly, shed all the so-called “baby weight” (I really dislike that phrase) within a month. But now, my social media is flooded with comments praising my appearance. Even though I’m generally a size 14-16 and not conventionally thin, it still feels uncomfortable to receive any comments, even positive ones. I battled significant postpartum depression and anxiety, and only recently have I started feeling better. The weight loss came from being too anxious and overwhelmed to care for myself properly, not from a healthy lifestyle. How do I tackle this situation?
First off, I’m sending you a big virtual hug because every postpartum mama deserves one. Unfortunately, many people don’t realize it’s generally inappropriate to comment on anyone’s body, regardless of the intent behind it. Those who offer compliments probably don’t recognize the potential harm in their words. However, you know that their good intentions don’t lessen the impact, especially when you’re reminded of the struggles you faced during that time.
As someone who has experienced a similar journey, I understand how those comments can transport you back to a painful mindset, almost as if you’re re-living past traumas. It’s perplexing to think that your postpartum body receives more praise than your pregnant body, which is just backwards.
When faced with these comments, whether in person or online, it’s perfectly acceptable to respond honestly. Remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation of your experiences, but if you choose to enlighten your friends or family about why discussing a woman’s body is often inappropriate, you can absolutely do so. You might say something like, “Thanks, but a mother’s body—before, during, or after pregnancy—doesn’t reflect her mental, emotional, or physical well-being.”
Alternatively, you could express, “I’m not aiming to return to my pre-baby self, nor do I believe anyone who has given birth should. Let’s reject societal pressures and celebrate all bodies. See you at Thanksgiving!” It’s all about what feels right for you. I hope you have the support you need and prioritize your healing journey in every aspect.
For more insights on related topics, check out this post from our blog. If you’re seeking additional information on the subject, Intracervical Insemination offers authoritative guidance. Also, American Pregnancy is an excellent resource for anyone navigating pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
Navigating unsolicited comments about your postpartum body can be challenging, especially when those compliments don’t reflect the mental health struggles behind your weight loss. It’s important to respond in ways that feel authentic to you, while also prioritizing your healing journey. Don’t hesitate to educate others on why comments about bodies can be harmful, and remember that your worth isn’t defined by your size.