The world has been in a constant state of high stress since the pandemic took hold. From the early days when even grocery shopping felt like a perilous expedition to the current moment, where cases are rising again and global tensions seem to erupt like wildfire, it’s hard to find someone who isn’t feeling the weight of it all. For solo parents—like me, who navigate this journey without a co-parent—the stress takes on a different form.
Let me clarify.
I owe my childhood friend a phone call, and honestly, I owe a lot of people a call. If you were to ask why I haven’t reached out, I’d say I’m busy. And that wouldn’t be untrue. As a solo parent trying to rebuild my life and career while managing two tweens headed back to school amidst a pandemic, my “to-do” list is never-ending. Whenever I manage to reduce it, it seems to grow back, like a mythical creature—cut one head off, and two appear.
But that’s not the reason I haven’t called. I could easily chat while driving to the grocery store or folding laundry, but I haven’t. I’ve been busy in a different sense.
I’ve been caught up in the whirlwind of self-doubt, questioning if I’m failing my children at every turn. I’ve been preoccupied with ensuring their safety and balancing their mental health with physical well-being. Mostly, I’ve been making every decision for our little family of three—big and small—and second-guessing each one.
This unique kind of busyness leads to decision-making exhaustion, especially during a pandemic, where each choice feels heavy and significant. After eighteen months of this, many things have slipped through the cracks—so many that they look like craters.
This isn’t a plea for pity; it’s a request for empathy. It’s a call to reach out, even when the solo parent in your life hasn’t initiated contact.
The distinction between empathy and pity can be subtle, but a recent text from a friend I hadn’t spoken to in months illustrated it beautifully. She reached out with a simple “Hey, how are you? Did you see this?” and included a screenshot of an important email from my child’s school that I had somehow missed. It brought tears to my eyes because, despite my oversight, she caught it for me. This friend reached out when I hadn’t, recognizing that I was in danger of falling through the cracks myself.
Feeling seen in that moment was invaluable. I expressed my gratitude, knowing her empathy stemmed from understanding the unique pressures I face as a solo parent, rather than from a place of pity.
To be clear: when I emphasize the need for empathy for solo parents right now, I’m not suggesting that other parents don’t deserve support. Acknowledging the challenges of solo parenting during a pandemic doesn’t diminish the struggles faced by parents who co-parent.
I understand that you might be unable to reach out because you’re busy dealing with your own challenges, whether it’s navigating a difficult relationship with a co-parent or trying to maintain your individuality amid the demands of parenting. Relationships require balance, and during these tumultuous times, solo parents may need a little extra support.
In the end, that small gesture of empathy can act as a safety net for a solo parent who feels overwhelmed and unseen.
For further insights on navigating parenting challenges, check out this blog post, or for more adorable moments, visit cute baby photos. Also, the CDC offers excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
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Summary:
Solo parents face unique challenges, especially during the ongoing pandemic. The stress of decision-making, coupled with the emotional toll of feeling overwhelmed, can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Reaching out with empathy, rather than pity, can provide support and help solo parents feel seen. Small gestures can make a significant difference in their lives.