For over thirteen years, I was a stay-at-home mom, relying on my husband as the primary breadwinner. Every time I wanted to make a purchase, I would consult him, feeling the need to justify any spending that went beyond our budget. My financial decisions were often scrutinized, leaving me to rearrange our finances to ensure we could afford significant events or home improvements.
This situation stemmed from my controlling ex-husband, who had strict views on money. Before having children, I earned more than he did, but once I stepped away from my career, I took on all other responsibilities, including financial management, out of guilt for not contributing financially.
The first month at home without an income was daunting. After covering the mortgage, car payment, student loans, and heating bills, we were left with just $17 in our account. It was a frightening experience, yet we found comfort in each other, knowing our baby was cared for and that we were frugal. That moment has stayed with me, shaping my approach to budgeting and savings.
When I eventually divorced, thoughts of that $17 balance haunted me at night. I had just re-entered the workforce, earning barely enough to support myself and my children. I was filled with anxiety about the future. Would I be able to keep our home? Could I afford repairs? Would I still be able to provide memorable Christmases and birthdays for my kids?
Despite these worries, I channeled my energy into hard work. I’ve managed to keep our house and cover repairs, and when it comes to Christmas, I go all out. I save throughout the year for this occasion because it holds special significance for me. As a single mom, I love to spoil my children on this day. While some may view it as materialistic, it means a lot to me.
I treasure the joy of seeing their faces light up on Christmas morning. They don’t get extravagant gifts throughout the year; I reserve those for special occasions, which makes the moment even more delightful. I remember the struggles of my early days as a newly divorced mother, unsure if I could even provide a big Christmas or stay in our family home.
I understand that life can change swiftly, and material possessions may seem excessive to some. However, to me, they symbolize my hard work and resilience. Adjusting to life as a single mom has required grit and determination, and I am proud of my achievements.
At times, I’ve wished I had stayed in my marriage, but I have come to realize that I can manage everything independently. Even if circumstances forced me to cut back on Christmas, I would still feel capable and strong, knowing how to navigate my new life.
For now, I can indulge my children on this special day and show them how much they mean to me. It’s my way of expressing that they are my heart and soul, and despite the challenges with their father, they will always be my priority. I strive to show them my love in various ways, from setting boundaries to offering support and unconditional love.
But on Christmas, it feels amazing to provide those material gifts too. Because I can.
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Summary:
As a single mom, I prioritize giving my children an unforgettable Christmas experience. After years of financial struggles and a difficult divorce, I’ve learned to budget effectively while saving throughout the year for this special occasion. The joy of providing gifts on Christmas morning is a way for me to show my love and dedication to my children, despite the challenges we’ve faced.