It all started when my son pointed out, “If the lyrics were about boys, people would call it sexist.” My response? “You’re absolutely right.” This sparked a debate. He struggles to comprehend the acceptance of girl power anthems. Deep down, I believe he doesn’t grasp why girl empowerment is even necessary. He feels genuinely offended.
This is a kid who has participated in protests at the state Capitol. He and I often engage in discussions about women’s rights. He even faced detentions last school year for speaking out about significant issues in classrooms where it wasn’t the right moment to do so. He’s stayed up late with me, watching political debates unfold.
However, he seems to view girl power as somewhat ridiculous. It frustrates him. He perceives it as unfair. He has a limited understanding of Title IX and its significance. At just 12 years old, I fear I might lose my Progressive Parent Card.
I’ve tried to explain concepts like the glass ceiling, the struggle against societal norms, and the various facets of feminism, but he is not getting it. He sees his friends heading to all-girls schools and feels excluded from girls-only book clubs. A misunderstanding about lacrosse further fueled his anger when he thought only girls had a team. He’s developing a viewpoint that girls receive special privileges while boys are left to fend for themselves.
I’ve attempted to clarify that everyone faces challenges, and while progress has been made, it’s still predominantly a man’s world. It’s acceptable for women to strive for equality, but he’s not convinced. He interprets it as a different kind of unfairness, believing that girls receive preferential treatment, which is not true. The reality is that society is structured in a way that often disadvantages women, and creating safe spaces for girls isn’t anti-male; it’s about leveling the playing field.
Yet, he doesn’t see it. As a white, middle-class boy, he feels undervalued when his mother and sister sing along to Beyoncé in the car. I start to wonder whether his perspective stems from being raised in an environment that promotes gender equality. Is he unable to comprehend girl power because he genuinely believes that girls and boys have equal rights? When I present my arguments, am I inadvertently teaching him that women are indeed second-class citizens?
My goal is not for him to believe that women are inferior, nor do I want him to think that’s the reason for the empowering songs by artists like Beyoncé or Sara Bareilles. I also grapple with the challenging conversations I have with my 8-year-old daughter about the messages in these songs versus societal beauty standards.
But if my son accepts the status quo, he risks becoming blind to the social norms that shape women’s experiences. I’m caught in a dilemma; if I try to enlighten him, it might backfire.
What’s a mom to do? I certainly don’t want to raise a version of Alex P. Keaton, dismissing the strides made by feminists. I refuse to downplay the persistent and frustrating challenges women face, which seem to be escalating. Most importantly, I don’t want my son to grow up resenting women because he believes they enjoy undue advantages. I want him to realize he’s part of a generation that can foster change, but that can’t happen if he harbors resentment towards girl empowerment initiatives.
I acknowledge that life isn’t fair for anyone. But how can I help him understand that this inequality is not uniform?
Parenthood can be tough, especially when it comes to raising a thoughtful and empathetic child. For my son, the journey of understanding these issues is just beginning.
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Summary
The author reflects on raising her son amidst discussions of feminism and girl empowerment. He struggles to understand the necessity of girl power, perceiving it as unfair treatment of boys. As a progressive parent, she grapples with how to convey the importance of equality without inadvertently teaching him that women are inferior. The complexities of modern parenting and gender discussions pose challenges, requiring a careful balance of education and empathy.