Dear Family, Friends, Acquaintances, and Casual Passersby,
To everyone who has felt the urge to question my decision about expanding our family—whether you are my mother, my husband’s mother, my sister-in-law’s mother, a fellow parent from drop-off, a neighbor, or even the barista who serves my coffee—this letter is for you.
Let me be clear: I am not planning on having another child. There are no dramatic reasons behind this choice; my previous birth was not traumatic, and my health is good. We’re not facing financial ruin or marital strife. I simply prefer to focus my energy on my one wonderful child.
You might label this as selfish. If working tirelessly to support my family, commuting long hours, and then cherishing my limited time with my son is selfish, then I’ll wear that badge. I find joy in stealing moments for myself—whether that’s a warm meal, a conversation with my husband, or a rare trip to the gym. Yes, I admit it, I want to balance it all—and I believe I can with just one child.
You express concern about my son’s social life, suggesting that a sibling would provide companionship. But what if they don’t even get along? Siblings can be polar opposites, and I’d rather invest my time in nurturing the bond I currently have with my son. I want to cherish these fleeting years when he still wants to play and be around me.
Now, you may wonder, “What happens when you’re gone?” Yes, it may seem selfish not to have a second child for logistical reasons in the future. However, I have a lifetime to instill in my son the importance of relationships, both familial and platonic. I’m committed to teaching him how to foster meaningful connections without needing to rely solely on a sibling. And if it eases your minds, I can explore options like life insurance, as I’ve seen advertised during daytime TV while caring for my little one.
You mention the allure of more cuteness. Yes, my son is adorable—truly a cherub in miniature. But I’m not keen on rolling the dice for a second child when I already have a gem.
And then there’s the notion of trying for a girl. I’ve been there; I know what it’s like. I had my own sister, and frankly, I’m not in the market for another version of myself.
As for the fear of spoiling my son—if I had two kids, I’d be too preoccupied worrying about college funds and mediating sibling squabbles to adequately spoil anyone. My focus remains on parenting my son, teaching him about boundaries, responsibility, and how to navigate life without losing his mind in the Disney store.
Ultimately, one child is what works best for our family right now. I appreciate your concerns, but I will continue to devote my love and care to my one precious son, raising him according to my values.
With warmth and affection,
Madeline
P.S. Please refrain from saying “one and done”—it’s just awkward.
Summary:
In this open letter, Madeline addresses the persistent inquiries from family and friends regarding her decision not to have a second child. She emphasizes that her choice is not based on traumatic experiences or financial troubles but rather a desire to focus on her one son. Madeline discusses the joys of parenting and the importance of nurturing her son’s social skills without relying on a sibling. Ultimately, she asserts that one child is what suits her family best.