Dear Friends,
Every time our group chat lights up with the message “___ shared an image,” I eagerly await that familiar rectangular box to reveal a blurry black-and-white photo of a soon-to-arrive little one. My heart swells with a mix of joy and nostalgia as I realize our circle of friends is growing once again.
First and foremost, I feel an overwhelming sense of love. The friends I consider my chosen family, who have been with me through the ups and downs of life, are embarking on a beautiful new journey of parenthood. Even before these tiny beings have names or limbs, I know I will cherish them fiercely—treating them as if they were my own kin, celebrating their milestones with pride, and showering them with affection.
I vividly recall the first time I placed my hand on a friend’s pregnant belly, feeling the firmness and wonder of the life within. In that moment, I thought, “I already love you, little one,” because how could I not? Your mother holds a piece of my heart, forged through countless shared memories—those plaid skirts and knee socks, whispers of first loves and heartbreaks, late-night giggles filled with snacks and secrets.
But there’s also a twinge of fear. With every pregnancy announcement, I can’t help but feel a slight distance growing between us. As the circle of friends with children tightens, I recognize the bond you share, built on shared experiences that only parents can fully understand. I get it—there are aspects of your lives I may never grasp, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to engage with you about your new reality.
Honestly, I’ve found myself diving into mommy blogs since many of you welcomed your little ones. I feel the need to stay informed, to have something meaningful to contribute when discussions turn to topics like baby-wearing or sleep schedules. Sometimes, I feel like an outsider peeking into a world where I don’t belong.
I know my child-free lifestyle comes with certain privileges that may frustrate you. I can go out without arranging a babysitter, I can wear whatever I want, and I don’t need to monitor my alcohol consumption for anyone’s sake but my own. I understand that my life may seem simpler, and when you ask how I’m doing, any response beyond “Fine!” can sound like bragging. I’m aware that your lives are filled with complexities and challenges that I can’t fully comprehend, and while I may not relate to the emotional weight you carry, I want to listen. Please share your experiences with me, even if I don’t fully understand.
I’ll admit, I sometimes feel overwhelmed when conversations shift to topics like labor or recovery. Those discussions can be daunting, especially since I’m unsure if I’ll ever experience them myself. However, I know that your journey through pregnancy is one you want to unravel, and I’m here to support that. Always know that I will be excited to receive updates about your children, and I eagerly look forward to seeing their little faces and hearing their joyful laughter.
As your children grow, I promise to be the fun aunt figure. I’ll read them stories, go on adventures to the zoo, and sing all those Disney songs you might be tired of. But I don’t want to wait until they’re older to build a connection. When we gather, please be patient with me. If I hesitate to hold your baby, it’s not due to a lack of love but rather a feeling of uncertainty. I see how effortlessly you cradle your children, and I want to learn how to do the same. Don’t hesitate to guide me—I won’t be offended. Even if I look a bit awkward, I genuinely want to be present for you and your little ones. I’m learning how to be supportive while showing you both how much you mean to me.
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In conclusion, I cherish the friendships we’ve built and look forward to embracing the changes that come with parenthood. Let’s continue to support one another, regardless of our different paths.
Sincerely,
Your Friend