As a parent, I’ve always cherished our back-to-school shopping adventures with my daughter, Emma. She has inherited my passion for fashion, and together we indulge in a bit too much shopping. Our tradition kicks off with a night of Chinese food with my sister and her daughter, followed by a spree at every store within a 20-mile radius. We start planning in June, eagerly anticipating one of the summer’s highlights—a ritual I hope continues long after they’ve both finished college.
As Emma has matured into her tween years, I’ve noticed her developing a unique sense of style that often diverges from my preferences. When I suggest an outfit I find appealing, she quips, “That looks like something from a private school. I attend public school, Mom!” or “Yikes, I liked that four years ago.”
Her aesthetic leans towards vibrant colors and bold patterns, while my taste is more subdued. She favors fitted jeans over saggy styles and loves pairing shorts with leggings and graphic tees. Oversized clothing? Absolutely not.
I’m mindful of ensuring her choices aren’t overly tight, as comfort is key. I want her to enjoy her clothes for more than just a month. However, when I witness her disappointment in the mirror, I realize she needs to embrace her personal style. It’s crucial for her self-expression.
Reflecting on my own teenage years, I recall a moment when I faced judgment for my fashion choices. At 16, while bagging groceries, I wore cut-off jean shorts and was met with disapproving glances. A woman even called the store to complain about my outfit. My boss defended me, but I couldn’t help but feel anger towards someone who seemed to find fulfillment in criticizing my appearance.
I wore those shorts because I liked them. At that age, loving yourself is tough, and I struggled with my body image. My legs were one feature I appreciated, while I concealed the parts I didn’t. I dressed for myself, seeking comfort in my choices—not as an invitation for judgment.
I want Emma to cultivate that same confidence. I won’t discourage her from wearing what she loves based on what others might think. It’s not her responsibility to prevent misunderstandings or to dress in a way that appeases others. I want her to appreciate her body and to know it belongs to her alone.
I will guide her in understanding that her outfit doesn’t invite unwanted comments or actions. While it’s unfortunate that some people may judge her, she is not accountable for their reactions. Instead, her focus should be on dressing for herself and building her self-esteem.
It is her right to express who she is, unapologetically. This autonomy will empower her, reinforcing that her clothing choices are not indicators of her worth or control. My role is to support her, even if it means accepting decisions I might not personally agree with.
If you’re interested in exploring more about self-care and choices in parenting, check out our other blog posts on at-home insemination kits or visit authoritative sources like UCSF Center for Reproductive Health for valuable insights. The CDC also provides great resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, allowing my daughter to choose her clothing is not just about fashion; it’s a vital lesson in bodily autonomy. It empowers her to express herself confidently, free from societal pressures.