One of the joys of childhood is the act of giving, and my daughter, Emma, embodies this spirit. She delights in crafting handmade cards for loved ones and handpicking small gifts. Emma is always eager to share her belongings, often saving her allowance to surprise her brother with a little something special. Just the other day, while we were sorting through some old toys, she expressed her wish to wrap up a toy truck to gift to a young boy visiting our neighbors. Rather than discourage her, I grabbed some tissue paper, and we found a slightly crumpled gift bag in our supply stash. With care, she wrapped the truck and placed it lovingly in the bag. We walked together to deliver the present, and the joy radiating from Emma as she gave the gift was truly heartwarming. She found just as much happiness in giving as she does in receiving.
I strive to nurture a sense of generosity in my children, emphasizing that it’s not about extravagant gifts; it’s about being mindful of others and demonstrating thoughtfulness. We collect interesting rocks on our walks to present as gifts, picked out a bracelet for my mother, and even paid for the person behind us at the donut shop. I aim to model that being thoughtful and generous is part of who we are.
Lately, many birthday invitations for Emma have included the phrase “No gifts, please.” While I understand the reasoning—after all, children often have more than enough—I can’t help but question what this teaches about thoughtfulness. Shouldn’t kids have the opportunity to give gifts to their friends on their birthdays? Children express their affection through small gestures, whether they’re crafting a present or selecting a small token.
Recently, Emma’s best friend turned 6, and his mother, Sarah, asked us not to bring any gifts. I recognized her good intentions; she wanted to alleviate any pressure on other parents. However, when I informed Emma, she became visibly upset, explaining that she had been excitedly planning a special gift. Not wanting to dampen her enthusiasm, and knowing Sarah well enough to feel comfortable bending the rule, I allowed Emma to bring her gift. She was thrilled, using her own money to buy a little something for her friend and creating a colorful birthday card to accompany it.
Since we were the only guests at the small gathering, there were no concerns about other children feeling left out. Had there been more guests, I would have suggested that Emma present her gift privately at another time. Her desire to give was genuine, and I didn’t want to stifle it.
We’ve attended parties where, instead of gifts, guests are encouraged to make donations to a charity, such as an animal rescue or a food drive. While I wholeheartedly support these charitable acts and believe they promote the spirit of giving, I still feel that a small gift for the birthday child adds a special touch. I want Emma to know that she can express her affection through gifts—a rock, a card, or something she purchased on her own—whenever the mood strikes her.
So, I kindly ask: please allow my child to bring a gift to the birthday party. Moreover, let me present you with a lovely arrangement of greens for the holidays. The spirit of generosity should not be confined or dictated by others, regardless of good intentions. We wish to share tokens of appreciation and love, and if we didn’t want to, we simply wouldn’t. In a world where taking often overshadows giving, we must encourage spontaneous and heartfelt acts of kindness.
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In summary, encouraging children to give gifts fosters their sense of generosity and thoughtfulness. While modern party trends often discourage gift-giving, allowing children to express their affection through small tokens can be invaluable in teaching the importance of kindness.