When I welcomed my first child, I was swayed by the misconception that women could effortlessly “bounce back” just days after childbirth, quickly resuming their usual routines while embodying the multi-tasking supermoms society expects us to be. I pushed myself to the limit: cooking, cleaning, and entertaining guests when my newborn was merely a few days old.
Before long, I found myself in a spiral of panic attacks and postpartum anxiety. To make matters worse, my recovery from childbirth was prolonged, with postpartum bleeding that extended far beyond the expected two to four weeks. In hindsight, I realize that my struggles were linked to my insistence on doing too much too soon after giving birth.
With my second baby, I made a different choice: I embraced the concept of a “postpartum retreat.” In this context, it means clearing your schedule and spending quality time in bed with your baby, focusing on rest, nursing, and bonding. While it may seem impractical for many, I was resolute in making it happen, determined to avoid the challenges I faced the first time.
I asked my partner, Alex, to take two weeks off work, even without pay, to care for our older child and manage household chores. I was initially anxious about the financial implications and the dynamic shift in our roles. However, I have absolutely no regrets. Not only did I deserve that much-needed break, but it also left me feeling stronger, healthier, and more balanced in the months that followed. It was a sacrifice that proved to be a valuable investment in my physical and mental well-being, ultimately benefiting my entire family.
Here are several compelling reasons why every woman deserves time for rest and pampering during the postpartum phase:
- Your Uterus Needs Time to Heal
The uterus is a remarkable organ, capable of stretching to accommodate a growing baby. However, it requires up to six weeks to return to its normal size through a process known as “involution.” This process is not without discomfort, as many women experience painful afterpains and heavy bleeding initially. - Your Body Needs to Recover
Whether you had a C-section or a vaginal delivery, your body requires time to heal. If you had a surgical birth, it’s crucial to avoid anything interfering with your incision. If there was any tearing, even if well repaired, you should prioritize resting over household tasks. - Hormonal Changes Require Adjustment
Postpartum, hormone levels drop sharply, leading to “baby blues” for many mothers. This adjustment can be exacerbated by stress and exhaustion, making it even more crucial to prioritize rest and relaxation. - Breastfeeding Benefits from Relaxation
While it’s possible to produce milk under stress, the hormone oxytocin, which facilitates milk let-down, can be negatively affected by high stress levels. Therefore, taking time for relaxation is beneficial for breastfeeding mothers. - Your Body is Transforming
The transition from being a “baby vessel” to your pre-pregnancy self involves significant changes. From internal organs realigning to hormonal fluctuations causing hair loss and sweating, your body is undergoing a lot during those early weeks. - Cultural Traditions Support Recovery
Historically, women have been encouraged to rest after childbirth. For instance, in Colonial America, new mothers enjoyed a “lying in” period of three to four weeks, supported by family and community. Similar practices exist worldwide, such as the “30 days in pajamas” tradition in China, which emphasizes the importance of rest and recovery. - Bonding Time with Your Baby
Some mothers worry if they don’t feel an immediate bond with their newborns, but this connection can take time. It’s essential to have uninterrupted moments to get to know your baby.
I understand that many of you may be thinking, “This is all well and good, but how can I make this happen?” Financial constraints may prevent hiring help, and some may lack a partner to support them. Many mothers are also expected to return to work shortly after giving birth. However, even if a full two weeks of rest isn’t feasible, there are ways to ease the postpartum experience. For example, limit visitors, request that guests bring meals, and create a chore list for anyone who comes over to help out.
If you’re pregnant and want to plan the pampering you deserve, begin now. Instead of traditional baby gifts, consider asking for gift certificates for postpartum doulas or housecleaners. Explore options for your partner to take paid or unpaid leave. Most importantly, advocate for your needs. The societal expectation that mothers should quickly return to their routines is misguided; every postpartum woman and her family deserve time for self-care and recovery.
You deserve the most indulgent, restorative postpartum retreat possible. Go ahead and claim it, mama!
For further insights into postpartum care, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. Additionally, if you’re looking for useful products, consider the Ollie Swaddle, which I highly recommend for new moms.