“I’d give anything for a getaway” is something I’ve heard countless mothers express, and honestly, it’s completely justified. Whether they’re working outside the home or are full-time caregivers, moms universally need a breather from the chaos of daily life. We all crave a mental escape from the constant juggling act that parenting demands. Knowing that many of my fellow moms share this sentiment, I thought, what better way to recharge than to plan a girls’ weekend?
When I mentioned this idea to my partner, he was supportive. “You deserve it. Go have a blast with your friends,” he encouraged. Excitedly, I drafted an email outlining the details: spa days, lounging by the pool, heartfelt conversations, and, of course, plenty of wine.
However, my enthusiasm quickly waned as I read my friends’ replies.
- “I’d love to, but I’ve never been away from Tommy overnight. I just can’t see myself doing it.”
- “Sounds amazing, but I can’t leave my kids.”
- “Staying away from my little one for even a night seems too much. Maybe we could just do dinner instead?”
- “I could never leave my kids for an entire weekend. Sorry!”
In an instant, my hopes for a fun-filled weekend with cherished friends faded, leaving me to question my maternal instincts and priorities. Guilt started to seep in. Is it wrong to desire a brief hiatus from my kids? Shouldn’t I want to be with them all the time? Do I love my children less than my friends love theirs?
Let me clarify: I’m not seeking a monthly escape. But a weekend away once a year? Absolutely.
The last reason I expected to have for not going on a girls’ trip was that I wouldn’t find anyone to join me. The usual excuses of time constraints, financial limitations, or lack of childcare didn’t apply to me; I had a long weekend off work, savings set aside, and a supportive partner at home. One friend even remarked, “I really don’t know many moms who would feel comfortable leaving their kids for a weekend.”
Ouch. It seemed I was considered an outlier, not just among my friends but among mothers everywhere. This added layer of parental shame only intensified the cultural pressures to achieve a “perfect” parenting image.
However, as I grappled with these feelings, defensiveness rose within me. The undeniable truth bubbled to the surface: I love my kids deeply, just as any mother does. In fact, the few times I’ve spent a night or two away from them, I’ve often shed tears while heading out and found myself thinking about them constantly.
Having differing opinions and parenting styles from my friends doesn’t make any of us less devoted. What works for one mother may not resonate with another. It’s all too easy to rush to judgment about the sensitive topics that surround parenting. Labeling mothers as overly cautious, obsessive, or controlling only heaps more guilt onto those already navigating the natural self-doubt that comes with raising children.
I cringe when I hear, “Wow, I can’t believe you can be away from your kids like that!” (What does that imply?), just as I’m sure others bristle at comments like, “You’re really missing out by not leaving your kids” (What’s the implication there?).
So, the answer to my earlier question—“Do I love my kids less than they love theirs?”—is straightforward. Love takes many forms. It means making choices that are best for both your family and yourself as a mother. For some, that means being present with their kids at all times. For others, it could mean carving out time for themselves.
Ultimately, love should not be the question. Acknowledging that my friends and I share equal affection for our children still leaves my vacation dilemma unsolved. So, who’s in for a girls’ weekend?
For more insights on the parenting journey, check out our post on Couples’ Fertility Journey. Additionally, if you’re interested in child safety, resources can be found on choking prevention. And for comprehensive information about pregnancy and home insemination, visit Wikipedia on In Vitro Fertilisation.
Summary:
Mothers often feel overwhelmed and in need of a break, yet societal pressures can lead to guilt for wanting time away from their children. This article discusses the importance of recognizing that each mother has her own approach to parenting and that love for one’s children can take many forms. Acknowledging this diversity can help moms support one another in their journeys.