Let’s face it: we’ve all been bombarded with invites to multi-level marketing gatherings where friends are peddling everything from personalized jewelry to the latest kitchen gadgets. Most of us either ignore these invites or decline with vague excuses about being busy. Personally, I usually pass unless it’s someone I genuinely like. However, when the invitation is for a sex toy party with a bunch of my favorite people, my response is an enthusiastic, “Count me in for checking out those intriguing products!”
Upon arriving at the party, I was greeted by my friend Jenna, who had set up an impressive spread of snacks and a counter filled with wine. Here’s a tip: if you’re hosting any kind of party, let the drinks flow! A little alcohol makes people more inclined to buy. Always a thoughtful guest, I brought along a tray of cookies shaped like various male anatomy parts, both sugar and chocolate chip, which were a hit. I couldn’t resist yelling, “Have a bite!” every few minutes.
The sales representative from Pleasure Emporium (not the actual name, but it fits) arrived and set up her display while we munched on snacks. To my dismay, most of the items showcased were lotions and creams. Sure, there was a whip on the table, but where were the fun gadgets? She kindly encouraged us to refill our glasses before diving into the product lineup.
As our “toy expert” guided us through the catalog, I flipped through page after page of body sprays and shaving creams—hardly what we came for. I get the upsell strategy, but I’d much rather have those products displayed for us to browse while enjoying the drinks. It was a struggle to stay engaged as she continued her pitch, and I felt my buzz fading. The novelty section was a welcome change, especially when the representative tossed a book on oral techniques at one of the more reserved attendees, who narrowly dodged it—talk about an unexpected gift.
These gatherings are not for the faint of heart, but the bashful attendees often provide the best entertainment. I once bought a handy gel pad at a similar party that can be heated for cramps. When I shared this at the gathering, one friend gasped, “In your…pants?” The realization hit her all at once, but I stand by my unconventional heating method.
As the evening progressed, we played a game where we wrote down a celebrity’s name and a body part. I went with RuPaul and “frenulum,” inspired by a friend’s recent piercing. The ensuing story about RuPaul and my frenulum was definitely a conversation starter.
We were divided into teams for some light-hearted bondage-themed fun, racing to put on the gear and give playful spankings. The experience varied widely based on participants’ familiarity with such activities, and some were surprisingly adept at it.
By the time we got to the actual sex toys, my buzz had completely vanished. As the representative handed out various items, we inspected each one, tossing them around for fun. Some were high-tech, like a vibrator that flashed in sync with the vibration patterns. While I appreciate innovation, I doubt anyone needs a light show down there unless they’re giving directions!
As we explored the toys, I noticed some were rather poorly made. While being frugal is often wise, this isn’t a category where you want to cut corners. I saw one cock ring that looked risky for anyone whose anatomy might exceed a certain size. But hey, to each their own, right?
By the end of the night, I found myself sober and ready to head home, having consumed more cookies than toys. I had arrived prepared to splurge, but instead, I left with a full belly and a few amusing stories.
So, my advice to anyone hosting these parties—whether sex toys or kitchen gadgets—is to kick things off with a little bubbly and skip the boring bits. Trust me, tipsy guests are more likely to whip out their credit cards for a good time.
In conclusion, don’t hesitate to accept that invite to your friend’s sex toy gathering. Just be prepared for some awkwardness and laughter, especially when you run into fellow attendees in the future. And remember to let your sales rep know that if it’s available at Bath & Body Works, it’s not on your shopping list.
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