It was one of those moments when my husband was conveniently absent. My children were eagerly tearing into their Advent calendar, which we enjoy for the countdown to Christmas, even though we don’t engage in any religious observance. “You really should take those kids to church,” my mother whispered sharply.
“No, I don’t need to,” I responded firmly.
“Yes, you do,” she insisted.
“Seriously, I really don’t,” I reiterated. At that, she quieted down, perhaps realizing that I wasn’t going to budge and that pressing further would lead to a more heated discussion.
Finding Our Own Path
Since we distanced ourselves from the Catholic Church, I’ve been met with numerous suggestions: I should go to church, and if not for me, then for the kids. Perhaps we could explore being Episcopalian or Lutheran? I even pondered the idea of Unitarianism for a while. Growing up with the belief that skipping Mass could lead to dire consequences instilled a sense of obligation to find some form of worship on Sunday mornings. But the truth is, you really don’t have to.
My kids are thriving without any formal religious guidance. They don’t need to believe in a historical figure suffering for their sins to understand the importance of kindness and compassion. Those values stand independently of any religious dogma, which I’ve come to understand as an agnostic. Instead, we engage in conversations about ethics, exploring right and wrong through the lens of recent historical figures and the decisions they made. We reflect on the choices they face and those made by their friends.
The Limitations of Church
They don’t require a weekly dose of religion to cultivate a strong moral foundation. Church doesn’t typically offer discussions about ethics in relatable terms for children. Instead, services often consist of complex parables that can be baffling for young minds.
Moreover, attending church usually presents two unappealing options. My kids either endure a long service that they find dull and irrelevant or are shuffled off to “Sunday School,” where they’re separated by age and placed with adults we don’t know, often with no training in handling children with special needs. Our family navigates ADHD, which can result in behaviors that others misinterpret as mischief, leading to judgmental glances from fellow parishioners.
Add to that the exhausting logistics: early wake-ups, hurried breakfasts, getting everyone dressed, and praying we arrive on time. The thought of managing that chaos sounds like a nightmare. They learn more about colorful language than spirituality during those outings. Let’s face it — the effort involved in getting to church is monumental. What is not a sacrifice? Sleeping in on Sundays and enjoying pancakes from a fast-food joint.
Seeking Community Elsewhere
Churches often reflect societal segregation, whether by race, class, or language. This is disheartening. If you seek a diverse community, you’re better off at local organizations like our neighborhood peace resource network or Food Not Bombs, which are far more inclusive. Sure, there are exceptions, and I’m sure someone will highlight them, but this has been my observation overall.
Most importantly, my kids are already developing strong ethical values without a structured religious framework. They care for one another and demonstrate kindness. We actively discuss real-world social justice issues rather than getting bogged down in theological debates. They witness me supporting our local homeless community rather than singing hymns to a deity whose existence is uncertain.
Encouraging Kindness and Compassion
We encourage our children to focus on improving the lives of others and leaving the world better than they found it. They don’t need church to learn these lessons. I’m opting for some extra sleep on Sundays, thank you very much.
Further Reading
If you’re curious to explore more about home insemination and related topics, check out this informative post on Home Insemination Kit. For anything pregnancy-related, Women’s Health is an excellent resource. Also, for insights on insemination methods, Intracervical Insemination provides trustworthy information.
Conclusion
In summary, my children are flourishing without the need for church attendance or religious indoctrination. They embody kindness and ethical considerations without needing to adhere to traditional religious practices.