As an adult, it can be hard to recall the restrictions of childhood. If I crave dessert before dinner, there’s no one to stop me. If I wish to step outside after curfew, no one questions my motives. Reaching adulthood brings a sense of liberation; however, it also makes it easy to forget the challenges of growing up under a myriad of rules and expectations.
While I am not a parent in the traditional sense, I have taken on a parental role as a middle school English teacher. Many might cringe at the thought of spending time with a classroom full of preteens, and I completely understand. I’ve witnessed countless eye rolls and dramatic gestures. Yet, this experience has provided me with valuable insights about children that may not be apparent to their own parents. I consider my time in the classroom as vital preparation for my future parenting journey.
1. Children Are Often Anxious
If you’ve ever asked a 13-year-old to present in front of their peers, you know that even the so-called “cool” ones would prefer to avoid the spotlight. It took me quite a while to understand why no one volunteered to distribute papers; it’s because they dread being the center of attention while everyone else watches. Life can be intimidating, and it’s our responsibility as adults to help lessen that fear. When kids return home after a day of suppressing their true selves, they long for the freedom to be authentic. We must reassure them that self-expression is not just acceptable, but encouraged. Instead of dismissing their dreams as unrealistic, allow them to indulge in their aspirations until they feel empowered to pursue them.
2. Children Crave Parental Involvement
When a student fails to submit their homework, they may act nonchalant in front of friends, but in a private moment with their teacher, remorse takes over. They often bargain to keep their parents in the dark about their shortcomings. Unbeknownst to parents, children constantly ponder their feelings about their performance. Thoughts such as “Are they proud of me?” or “Will they forgive me?” weigh heavily on their minds. The answers to those questions should always be affirmative.
3. Children Are Incredibly Imaginative—Encourage It
Creativity flourishes at a young age. My niece once declared we were embarking on a journey to outer space to gaze at the stars. What a beautiful notion! It’s a thought I might have had myself before being told to stay grounded. Embrace your child’s creativity; inquire about their imaginative ideas and reassure them that their dreams are valid. While it’s natural to learn the distinction between fantasy and reality as we grow, we should strive to preserve a bit of that imaginative spirit.
4. Children Do Lie—Frequently
At some point, children discover that fabricating stories can simplify complex situations. Sometimes, they weave lies so convincingly that they themselves begin to believe them. I’ve seen the frustration on a teenager’s face when they refuse to acknowledge their mistakes, leaving me to wonder how we can progress. It’s essential to address these untruths—not with disdain, but with the understanding that this is an opportunity for growth. There’s often a fear behind their dishonesty, and guiding them towards the liberation that truth provides can be transformative.
5. Children Require Guidance
Life is full of mysteries, and children need more support than adults to navigate these challenges. They may not always know how to ask for help, making it tough for parents and teachers to identify when to intervene. I may not be a parent, and I don’t claim to understand the sleepless nights or the anxiety that comes with raising a teenager. However, I do know that dedicating yourself to understanding your child better each day, loving them for who they are, and forgiving their inevitable mistakes positions you to be the best parent possible.
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In summary, understanding children requires patience, empathy, and an open mind. By nurturing their creativity, offering support, and maintaining open communication, we can help them navigate the complexities of growing up.