Every weekday, I am fully immersed in the world of parenting young children. I handle everything from wiping faces and bottoms to preparing meals and fetching drinks. My day is filled with reading stories, driving to various activities, and engaging in educational tasks that involve math, writing, and even science experiments. I offer hugs, mediate disputes over toys, and sometimes, I find myself sneaking away to the bathroom for a moment of solitude—only to be discovered almost immediately. My lunches often consist of leftovers from my kids’ meals, all while managing the never-ending cycle of letting the dogs in and out.
When my husband returns home at 4:30 p.m., we collapse onto the bed together with the TV on. He takes over the parenting duties, cooking dinner and continuing the cycle of wiping and mediating. I might be busy all day, feeling exhausted and on the verge of giving up, but I am not a single parent.
I wake up at my own pace, whenever the kids rise. I don’t have to struggle to get them out of bed at 6 a.m. for a daycare drop-off by 7:30 just so I can make it to work by 8:00. Unlike my friend Max, who is a single dad and often expresses his frustration about his job, I don’t have the added stress of hurrying through traffic just to avoid daycare late fees. I also don’t face the daunting task of managing all my children’s needs alone after a long workday. I genuinely admire single parents.
The ongoing “mommy wars” often pit stay-at-home parents against those who work outside the home (and this includes dads). There’s an unspoken tension, as if we’re somehow in opposition to one another, judging each other’s choices. But let me be clear: I don’t judge you—I admire you, truly.
I can barely cope when my husband is away for the weekend, and I can’t fathom parenting solo without any breaks. You don’t have the luxury of knowing someone will step in when you’re overwhelmed. If you’re sick, you can’t just rest while someone else takes care of the household chores. You handle everything from cooking and cleaning to laundry and grocery shopping all on your own. You meticulously ensure that everyone has clean clothes, enough food, and even little things like ketchup for meals. It’s these everyday challenges that make you a hero in my eyes.
You manage to keep your kids fed, loved, and educated, all while I often feel burnt out with the support I have. You likely experience that same exhaustion, but you don’t have the option to take a break. So let’s put an end to the negativity surrounding parenting choices. We’re all in this together, whether it’s about formula versus breastfeeding or daycare versus home care. Many of us are tired of the online debates that only add to our stress.
I may not understand all the struggles you face, but I see your happy, thriving kids, and I know you’re doing an incredible job.
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