It was just a regular day when my 7-year-old son, Ethan, excitedly waved my phone in front of me, showcasing a candid shot he had captured while I was lost in thought. The photo was fuzzy and overexposed, highlighting all the features I often criticize—my double chin, the wrinkles on my forehead, an awkward profile angle, and a coffee stain that seems to have become a permanent accessory on my shirt.
To be frank, my first instinct was to delete that image when he wasn’t looking. That’s the trap we fall into with modern technology—smartphones and digital photography allow us to erase anything that doesn’t fit our idea of perfection. We can endlessly edit and recreate until we achieve our desired appearance. While that can be beneficial, it also leads to losing sight of our true selves.
As I continued to reflect on that picture, something shifted. It became apparent that this was one of the few genuine images of me in existence. Typically, I’m the one behind the lens, capturing family moments, and when I’m in front of the camera, it’s often for posed shots like holiday gatherings or dressed up nights out.
While those images are cherished, this candid one speaks volumes. It represents how my children perceive me. They see my less-than-flattering angles while I’m cooking, my double chin at their eye level as we snuggle during bedtime stories, and my wrinkles when I lean in for a kiss. They notice the spills and the goofy expressions I make without realizing it—yet they have never pointed them out.
As a mom of boys, I initially thought I wouldn’t have to navigate the complex landscape of body image issues that mothers of daughters face. Yet, I realize now that we, as Gen X parents, often criticize the unrealistic beauty standards set by the media. We champion campaigns aimed at boosting girls’ self-esteem and share empowering messages about embracing our imperfect bodies.
However, we often forget that our own boys are just as susceptible to these standards. No amount of makeup-free celebrity selfies or empowering ad campaigns can counteract the beauty myth if we, their mothers, are consistently critical of our own appearances.
Our attitudes shape their perceptions. If I grimace at my so-called flaws, they’re likely to adopt the same viewpoint. Those imperfections will become their focal point when they look at me—and at others. If I dismiss the beauty they see in me through their innocent eyes, they may eventually stop seeing it altogether.
The way we speak about ourselves becomes their internal dialogue. I don’t want my sons to equate beauty with flawless skin or designer clothing. I want them to understand that true beauty lies in love and connection.
So, I took another look at the snapshot my son was so proud of. I inhaled deeply, shifting my focus from what I perceived as wrong to what was genuinely right about the image. This was the mom they know—the one who helps with homework at the kitchen table, plays football in the yard, and tucks them into bed at night.
This is the version of me they love.
I owe it to them, to myself, and to the girls they will meet in life to embrace the woman they see and love her just as much. And I truly do. I appreciate the laughter lines, the weight from spontaneous ice cream outings, and the stains from outdoor play. They’re all part of the person I am—the mother I aspire to be.
This is the me they know. This is the me they love. And this is the me I cherish too.
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Summary: A candid picture taken by my son transformed my understanding of body image. Initially critical of my flaws, I learned to embrace the authentic version of myself that my children see and love. This realization highlights the importance of how we view ourselves and the impact it has on our children’s perceptions of beauty.