Dear Mia and Noah,
I understand this might feel like a tall order, which is why I’m presenting it as a gentle inquiry rather than a strict demand or a bribe tied to dessert. So, here it goes: Would you please eat just one vegetable?
I know that your natural instincts, shaped by evolution, seem to rebel against veggies. I certainly don’t want to create a food feud like our parents did with us, but the truth is, your cravings for sugary and fatty foods were hardwired back in the caveman days—long before the food industry became what it is today.
That’s why I’m asking you to try this organic baby carrot, or maybe a leaf of spinach or a piece of kale. Remember how your dad planted that kale? Well, by “dad,” I mean he did all the work. I didn’t lift a finger.
And no, I’m not consulting another parenting guide on how to sneak vegetables into your meals. Honestly, I’m too busy indulging in adult coloring to read yet another self-help book.
Let’s also get one thing straight: I’m not going to puree Swiss chard into a peanut butter smoothie. I simply don’t have the energy for that, nor do I think it’s necessary.
You should be aware of how fortunate you are to live in a place where fresh, organic produce is readily available. Not every kid has access to the nutrients that come from fresh vegetables. And let’s face it, those gummy bear vitamins you love can’t replace real nutrition.
However, merely placing a carrot on the tip of your tongue and refusing to chew won’t do much good either. I’m no nutrition expert, but I’m fairly certain that’s not how it works. I mean, I consume most of my calories in the form of dark chocolate fudge ice cream after you’re asleep, so I’m hardly the model of healthy eating.
Oh, and Noah, why did you decide to wander downstairs and have an accident on the floor during the night while I was enjoying my ice cream? Not cool.
But back to the matter at hand: your vegetables. Please, just one vegetable. That’s all I’m asking for.
Sincerely,
Your Mother
P.S. If you’re curious about delicious ways to incorporate veggies into your meals, check out this Spring Soup recipe!