Dear Teenager,
I kindly ask you to stop removing the photo of yourself from our refrigerator. This little game we’ve been playing has gone on long enough. I put the picture up, and you take it down. I find it hidden under a stack of papers or tucked away in a magazine, and then I return it to its rightful place. It’s clear you’re getting quite inventive in your attempts to hide it, but this has to end, my dear.
I understand that you’re not fond of pictures. I’ve watched you scrutinize every snapshot, often frowning at the reflection looking back at you. You pose for your phone, capturing the moment, but almost immediately delete it, redoing the process until it meets your standards. I can only guess the critical thoughts you have about your appearance.
You’ve expressed concerns about your braces, your hair that curls on humid days, and your height. You feel that photos showcase all these “flaws.” But I remember my own insecurities in my teenage years. I wished my bangs were bigger to cover my forehead, and no curling iron could give my hair the volume I desired. At 14, I too felt that pictures were my adversary.
You know better than to speak negatively about yourself aloud. You’ve heard my lectures on self-love — they can be long-winded and somewhat boring. It’s likely why you haven’t just asked me to take the photo down; you think you know how I will respond.
But you’re mistaken.
I don’t keep putting that photo on the fridge because I want you to appreciate how you look in it. While that would be wonderful, I’m the woman who rejected over 25 proofs of my own high school graduation portrait. I know it’s a tall order to expect a teenage girl to feel positive about a picture of herself.
I replace the photo because it captures a moment of pure joy — you laughing with your older brother, completely unaware of the camera. You’re both playing with a light-up ball, showcasing your carefree spirit. That image reminds me of the girl who used to embrace life with enthusiasm, unbothered by others’ opinions.
I chose that photo for the fridge because it reflects who you are becoming. You sit tall and confident, no longer hunching your shoulders. You’ve grown into a young woman who helps out around the house and expresses gratitude without prompting. I see you lingering at family dinners, engaging with adults long after the other kids have gone off to play.
This picture speaks volumes about your journey from girlhood to womanhood. Time is flying by, and amid the chaos of our large family, I sometimes struggle to truly see you. That image allows me to pause and appreciate who you are right now.
I put that photo back because, without it, the fridge feels incomplete. Each time I reach for the milk, I notice your absence, and it reminds me of how quickly you’re growing up. I can’t shake the thought that soon, you won’t be racing through the house in your soccer cleats or borrowing my hair ties.
That picture helps me hold onto these moments. It symbolizes our shared story, which wouldn’t be the same without you. So please, leave the photo alone.
With all my love,
Mom
P.S. You are stunning, intelligent, funny, and strong. You mean the world to me, even if my words sometimes embarrass you. But I’ll stop here, as I can tell I’ve already lost your attention. Just remember, it’s all true, sweetheart.
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In summary, this heartfelt letter to my teenage daughter emphasizes her beauty and intelligence, even when she may not recognize it. I encourage her to embrace her true self and cherish moments that reflect who she is becoming.