I’ve encountered several adults grappling with bipolar disorder or addiction, and I’m sure you have too. The overwhelming feeling of helplessness in these situations can be debilitating. Watching a loved one suffer while feeling limited in your ability to help can be frustrating and heartbreaking.
With a family history of depression, I often worry about how it might affect my three children. Will they face similar challenges? How will I cope? One mother, Lisa Carter, openly shares her experience supporting her son, Jake, who struggles with bipolar disorder and addiction. After her son’s arrest for drug-related offenses, Lisa realized she was part of his battle. A pivotal moment came during a conversation with Jake’s social worker, Hannah:
“I noticed Hannah’s professional skills shining through. She listened empathetically to both of us but then interjected, ‘That’s all behind us now, Jake. We’re in a vehicle moving forward; we can’t keep staring at the past. We need to focus on the road ahead, looking for new choices and possibilities—step by step.’ Her practical advice was something Jake needed to hear from someone other than me.”
When we become parents, our protective instincts kick in, and we want to do everything possible for our children, prioritizing their well-being above all else. As our kids grow and face more serious challenges, discussing their choices becomes increasingly difficult. We may feel isolated, anxious about others’ judgments, and torn between seeking support and protecting our child’s privacy.
Lisa chose to share her story to help other parents dealing with bipolar disorder, which affects nearly 3% of the population. She advises parents facing similar struggles to avoid retreating into a “bunker mentality”—a common initial reaction. Instead, she emphasizes the importance of confiding in a trusted friend or family member. “You need to vent while also receiving feedback on your reactions to ensure they’re reasonable,” she explains.
Finding a support group and pursuing personal therapy can also be invaluable for managing emotions in these situations. Lisa found a supportive community through NAMI, where other parents shared their experiences, helping her gain clarity on her own challenges.
Prioritizing self-care has been essential for Lisa. She engages in regular exercise, enjoys nature, and indulges in activities she loves, like reading. “A daily dose of laughter is crucial, along with some dark chocolate,” she quips. Writing about her journey has also been therapeutic, strengthening her friendships along the way.
It’s vital for all parents helping their children—regardless of the severity of the situation—to prioritize their mental health. Lisa’s journey is a powerful reminder not to neglect our well-being, even when time is scarce.
In terms of her relationship with Jake, Lisa emphasizes the importance of listening rather than attempting to rescue him. She consistently reassures him of her emotional support but acknowledges the necessity of allowing him to navigate his own path. “I can’t create well-being for him. I often confuse his struggles with my own, feeling the need to fight alongside him,” she admits.
Ultimately, Lisa has learned that this approach is unhelpful for Jake. “This isn’t about rejecting him—my love for my son is unwavering. However, I must establish boundaries for my own protection,” she states.
For parents navigating similar challenges, Lisa’s book can offer valuable insights. She encourages all parents to “be strong, be courageous, and maintain faith that your child will find their own strength and bravery.”
In conclusion, Lisa’s experience serves as a beacon of hope for those facing similar struggles, highlighting the importance of self-care, communication, and setting boundaries while supporting a loved one.