As Thanksgiving wrapped up, we made the decision to embark on a quest to view Christmas lights. It was a 45-minute drive to a park adorned with an impressive four million lights displayed along a two-mile stretch. What follows is a recounting of our nearly three-hour adventure before we even reached the start of that path—a journey filled with trials, resilience, and ultimately, the spirit of the holiday season.
Wow, that drive took forever! But that’s okay. The memories we’re about to make will be worth it. Our first Christmas outing of the year! This is going to be amazing. Looks like we’re in this line for a bit. Time to cue up the Christmas tunes!
After a while, our progress had completely stalled. But it’s fine. I’ve got pretzels packed, so if this takes too long, I’ll break them out. To pass the time, we started playing “Guess the Character.” My five-year-old gave a description of Dumbo, saying, “He’s a boy. He has a really long front tail,” and I barely held back laughter. Nailed it!
Suddenly, it hit me—there are porta-potties lining the road. They must have anticipated the wait. Oh no, what have we gotten ourselves into? Evie has gone through a whirlwind of emotions in just a minute—crying, laughing, whining, and back to tears.
Well, I guess we live here now. We might as well combine our Christmas card with a change of address card; how adorable would that be?
The atmosphere in the car has shifted from festive to Hunger Games real quick. To make the best of this situation, I’ve mentally assembled an ideal team of house staff: Tony Macelli as our nanny, Sookie St. James as our chef, and Mr. Belvedere as our butler. Our driver? David Hasselhoff in KITT, of course.
Tensions are rising, and my family is starting to turn on each other. As the matriarch, I’m committed to staying positive amidst the chaos. But I’ll be keeping those pretzels to myself for now.
If I hear “Jingle Bell Rock” one more time, I might just hurl my phone at that inflatable Snoopy. Just think, Mary gave birth in a barn without any pain meds after a long journey on a donkey. I can tough this out, right? Ugh, why do I suddenly hate Santa?
My husband just pointed at a random house and told the kids it was part of the light show. I honestly saw them considering going along with him.
I’ve also started mentally choosing allies in this line. My top picks?
- The family in the cargo van—clearly, they’ll be fun and can make songs out of anything.
- The group in the Hummer limo because who wouldn’t want a snack break while waiting?
- The bearded guy in the car with the dented side; we’ll need that level of determination.
Now “Santa Baby” is playing again. We get it—it’s catchy but enough already!
Oh look, police lights are flashing behind us! A rescue? A Christmas miracle! But wait, they’re just setting up a new lane, letting in cars that haven’t been waiting at all. My husband is crushed. “This doesn’t make any sense,” he mutters, totally defeated.
Christmas music is starting to feel like a personal affront. Everything is just tough. I miss the simplicity of life before this.
Finally, the line is moving! Praise the heavens, we’re finally making progress! I promise I’ll never take free-flowing traffic for granted again. This experience has changed me. I’ll be living with more compassion—because who knows when we’ll be stuck in a traffic jam again.
Wow, these lights are stunning. Look at our kids grinning from ear to ear. This is the family time we’ll cherish forever. We really did it! I love my family. Christmas truly is magical.
Next year, we’re definitely doing this again. This, my friends, is the essence of the holidays—a blend of struggles and immense joy, with just enough forgetfulness to make us want to relive it all again.
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Summary: A family outing to see Christmas lights turns into a comedic struggle filled with waiting, sibling squabbles, and the ups and downs of holiday spirit. Despite the challenges, the experience ends on a high note, highlighting the magic of family and the joy of the season.