Dear Daughter,
Let’s set the record straight: it’s not a “hoo-ha” or a “puffle,” nor should it be referred to as “down there.” It’s your vagina. I brought you into this world, and I refuse to diminish its significance by using cutesy names.
The truth is, your vagina is the least fascinating part of your sexual and reproductive system. So why should we give it so much power that we can’t even call it by its proper name? If you want to chat about your clitoris, I might blush, because that’s the part of your anatomy that deserves the spotlight. Your vagina? It’s just a canal. Think of the clitoris as the charming gondolier in this metaphor.
Understanding Your Anatomy
That gondolier is where things can get complicated.
You might say, “But Mom, my friends call it their fluffies or pinkies. Vaginas are so embarrassing!” To that, I’d respond, “Sweetheart, your friends will eventually find themselves in situations where they need to understand their bodies. One day, they may be on the verge of adulthood, and they will encounter moments that demand clarity. They’ll need to articulate, ‘This is my vagina you’re trying to engage with. If we don’t take precautions like condoms with spermicidal lubricants, we could face consequences that range from an unexpected pregnancy to sexually transmitted diseases.’”
When it comes to reproduction, casual names don’t help. In the history of creating life, there’s never been a case where nicknames for anatomy led to procreation. There are no “hot dog” STDs, but the interactions between penises and vaginas (with that lovely gondolier guiding the way) can indeed lead to both life and illness.
The Gift of Understanding
As you prepare for adulthood, I’m giving you the gift of understanding your anatomy—your vagina, cervix, labia, and ovaries. It’s all part of the package. But this isn’t just about anatomy; it’s about ownership of yourself. I’ve aimed to provide you with the truth since your early years when you first asked for the names of your body parts. If I can’t talk to you about your body without resorting to euphemisms, how can I have the deeper conversations about challenges and triumphs that are far more intricate than simply having a vagina?
I want to instill in you a sense of truth about life. Marriage, for example, can involve both conflict and forgiveness, but many that fail lack one of those elements. Life is also marked by loss, even of those we care about deeply. Childbirth is often messy and frightening, yet incredibly empowering. Love can sometimes feel like a choice, even the love we hold for our children.
Embracing Life’s Lessons
Good sex enriches your life; it should never detract from it. As you move through life, you’ll discover that many answers to your questions may not satisfy you as you grow. You’ll learn that life changes in ways that can feel tedious, yet some things remain constant.
You may realize that beneficial experiences, like childhood vaccinations, can be uncomfortable but are often worth the pain. The same applies to breakups and health checkups. The pain often comes from realizing you’ve been misled rather than from the truth itself. Learning from comparisons with others, while painful, can reveal insights that feeling superior never would.
Pets require commitment; they’re not just hobbies. Treat yourself to those lovely shoes and find the occasion to wear them. Don’t ignore important signs, financial obligations, or health warnings. Be open to trying new experiences. Capture moments, because someone will cherish the memory of your smile after you’re gone. Acknowledge your own ignorance; it’s a stepping stone to growth.
Your Journey Ahead
Remember, it’s your vagina. I could keep going, but I want you to learn these lessons on your own. I’m preparing you for a world that is run by adults. You’ll have responsibilities soon, even as I hold onto the memories of you as my little girl.
And rest assured, none of those adults are using silly names for their anatomy.
We’ll discuss everything—testicles, nipples, the differences between them. This knowledge is crucial because someday, you’ll be navigating your own path, and your vagina will be part of that journey. I won’t always be here to shield you, but I want to see you soar into the world, fully aware of where you’re headed.
With all my love,
Mom