It’s a beautiful sight: two young girls, ages 8 and 9, engaged in the innocent joy of styling each other’s hair. To them, it’s not a lesson in beauty; it’s simply a fun activity that girls do during sleepovers. There’s no competition, no envy, just giggles and the occasional playful squabble that quickly resolves.
Yet, as I watch this pure moment, my mind drifts to my role as a counselor. I envision these girls five years down the line, perhaps sitting in my office, overwhelmed and anxious about the expectations of their peers. I imagine them feeling isolated, believing the cruel narratives they hear about themselves, looking to me for guidance on how to navigate a world filled with judgment and insecurity.
I momentarily escape that daunting reality, focusing instead on the warmth of the present. Here, there is no fear or doubt. These girls are not concerned about their standing with one another. They feel safe to express their thoughts and emotions without fear of repercussion. They trust each other implicitly, lifting one another up rather than tearing each other down.
They are blissfully unaware of social media pressures; terms like “backstabbing” have yet to enter their vocabulary. They haven’t faced the pain of online bullying or the detrimental effects of societal expectations on their self-image. They still own their bodies and their feelings, believing in their strengths and abilities. Their mantra, simple yet powerful, echoes in my mind: “I am a girl. I am smart and strong. I can do anything.”
As I work with teenage girls who often feel the weight of self-doubt, I can’t help but reflect on my own daughter. Each session reminds me of her innocence, and I strive to help these young women see the beauty and worth within themselves. They are daughters, sisters, and friends, yet many feel inadequate and imperfect. I often ponder when they began to doubt their worth and believe the opinions of others.
On tough days, I reach out to them, acknowledging that while I may not have all the answers, I believe in their potential to reclaim their self-worth. I encourage them to remember the joy of innocent friendships and the feeling of safety that comes with trust. They need to hear they are enough, that they are worthy and capable of achieving amazing things.
As I write this, I can hear my daughter and her friend in the other room, sharing secrets and laughter. I peek in through the door and see them nestled under blankets, free to express themselves without fear of judgment. A flashlight flickers nearby, illuminating the pages of a diary filled with affirmations of strength and joy. Their words remind me of the world I hope to nurture for all girls—one where they feel empowered and confident.
I jot down their simple yet profound words, knowing that these sentiments need to be shared: “I am a girl. I am silly, smart, good at ballet and the monkey bars, and a good friend. I have a kind smile. I like myself.” When I read this to a girl who has lost her sense of self, I see a spark of hope in her eyes.
These moments reinforce my belief that we can help our daughters navigate their journeys with confidence and self-love.
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Summary
This piece reflects on the innocence of childhood friendships and contrasts it with the pressures and insecurities faced by teenage girls. It emphasizes the importance of fostering self-worth and confidence in young women, drawing inspiration from simple moments of joy and connection.