Dear Little One,
As you nestled into my arms and drifted off to sleep this afternoon, I found myself momentarily lost in the moment, holding you a bit tighter, inhaling your sweet, almost-baby scent, and resting my cheek against your soft, curly hair.
In that instant, the urge to cry washed over me—not just because you are so perfectly wonderful and I adore you, but because I realize how infrequently I pause to simply be with you. I miss those moments of uninterrupted connection, of truly savoring the magic that is you.
I feel compelled to share something that weighs on my heart: I had the luxury of more time with your older brother. When he was three, it was just the two of us, and days unfolded at a much gentler pace. He was my entire focus, and I could offer him the undivided attention that I yearn to give you now.
Please know that my love for you is immense, and I know you’ll forgive me even before I voice my regrets. I’m sorry for the frenetic pace of our lives, for the mornings that start before you’ve had your fill of cuddles, for rushing you through breakfast, and for the times I insist you get dressed while you’re deep into a superhero adventure, running around in your birthday suit.
I’m sorry for the times I’ve raised my voice, pleading with your older brother to put his lunch in his backpack for the umpteenth time. I apologize for the chaos and the squabbles over “big kid” matters. I’m sorry for the rush every morning as we hurry to get you to school, for my half-mornings spent on phone calls, work emails, bill payments, and grocery runs.
I regret having to be a strict enforcer about naptime only to wake you before you’re ready, simply to dash off and pick up your brother. I’m sorry that most of your clothes are hand-me-downs from him, and that so many of your toys and books were once his. I even apologize for occasionally bribing you with candy to coax you into joining me for school pick-ups (though you probably don’t mind the candy too much).
I regret that your baby book remains nearly empty. I often find myself saying, “just a minute,” when you ask me to play. You’ve even had to witness my struggles with third-grade math homework. And yes, you’ve had to share me your entire life.
But please understand that there is ample space in my heart for both you and your brother. My heart is full, our lives are vibrant, and that is how it is meant to be. I hear the delightful things you say, and every moment we spend painting, reading, or watching caterpillars in the backyard, I am fully present, treasuring every second.
You may feel overshadowed at times by those around you who seem bigger and more engaged in adult activities, but know that we cherish the wonder and innocence you bring into our lives. I hope you feel my love and appreciation for your unique spirit, the laughter you provide each day, and the joy you infuse into our family.
I want you to remember all those times I let you fall asleep in my arms, both for naps and at night. I hold on tightly to your babyhood, knowing how fleeting it is. I am here to support your growth, but no matter what, you will always be my baby.
With all my love,
Mommy
Summary
In this heartfelt letter, a mother reflects on the challenges of parenting her youngest child amidst a busy life filled with responsibilities and comparisons to her older child. She expresses her love, regrets, and hopes for her child, acknowledging the fleeting nature of childhood while reaffirming her unwavering affection.