Dear Little One,
I see you there, making progress every day. I catch a glimpse of you rolling over, and even while I’m busy picking up toys and tending to your older sibling, my heart swells with pride. But did I voice those feelings for you? Did I share my excitement aloud?
Just a moment ago, I laid you on your play mat, intending to engage with you about the colorful shapes around you. But then your brother vanished into the quiet, prompting me to investigate. Sure enough, he had scattered his snacks across the floor. As I clean up the mess, I hear your sweet coos in the background, but I’m distracted, trying to teach him the importance of tidiness.
Soon, your coos turn to cries as you wait for my attention. I scoop you up, pop a pacifier in your mouth, and find myself naming the animals in your brother’s puzzle instead of focusing on you. Glancing at the clock reminds me that it’s nap time. I rush through changing your diaper and settling you in your crib, all while juggling your brother’s needs. Did I even whisper “sweet dreams” or “I love you” before leaving the room? My train of thought gets interrupted when I trip over a toy, and I’m off to tackle the next item on my endless list.
Throughout the day, when I nurse you, I’m also fielding emails and reminding your brother to stay off the stairs. Our nursing sessions are far from peaceful; they’re filled with multitasking rather than tender moments of connection.
As I prepare dinner, I feel overwhelmed, wishing for your father to come home and share the load, even if just for a little while. You sit in your exersaucer, playing quietly. I show you how to press the buttons, then quickly turn back to guide your brother on using a fork properly.
I can’t help but remember the days when it was just your brother and me. I’d sing and dance while cooking, engaging him fully. Now, with you, I find myself scattered and distracted, and it weighs heavily on my heart. I silently pray that you’ll be as bright and capable as your sibling, hoping that my lack of one-on-one time won’t leave any lasting scars.
Finally, your dad arrives home, and I feel a wave of relief wash over me. As he greets you, your face lights up with joy. I watch, a mix of happiness and sorrow filling me, wondering if I’ve made you smile today. Did I take the time to tickle you or play?
The evening rushes by: we pick up toys, wash dishes, and prepare for bath time. I lay you down on the floor while I scramble for a sippy cup and pajamas. After dressing you in your cozy jammies, I turn on the fan and head to your brother’s room for storytime before bed.
As we finish our last feeding, I hold you close, say our prayers, and your dad kisses your head. I quietly walk down the hall with you in my arms, pausing at your crib to kiss your cheek and whisper “I love you” before gently laying you down. I exit your room, feeling a sense of accomplishment for surviving another day of parenting.
When I lay down for bed, thoughts of you fill my mind. In my prayers, I ask for grace and patience to be the best mother for you and your brother. As I drift off to sleep, I worry if I’m giving you all the love you deserve.
But here’s the truth: I am so proud of you. You’ve rolled over, reached for toys, and even managed to fall asleep on your own today. Your cheerful disposition is a blessing, and I appreciate how easygoing you are. Your smile is infectious, and it never fails to lift my spirits.
I often find myself in the glider in your room, my favorite spot. When your brother is asleep, I rock back and forth, listening to your gentle breaths, feeling the cool air from the fan. It’s a moment of peace that I cherish.
It’s surreal to think of life before you. You have completed our family in ways I never imagined. From this day forward, I promise to give you my best. Some days that’ll mean reading an extra book, other days it might just be rocking you a little longer before nap time. I’m committed to showing you my love, no matter how busy life gets.
Always remember, even amidst the chaos of bills, toys, and laundry, you are constantly on my mind. I see you.