My dear child,
I find myself missing you, missing the times when it was just the two of us. I yearn for those endless days filled with laughter—playing with cars and trucks, coloring, and dancing around the living room to our favorite songs, shaking our shakers in joyful harmony. I cherish those quiet moments in the rocking chair, sharing bedtime stories and exchanging giggles that filled the air with warmth.
I reminisce about our drives to the store, where you would sing or chat animatedly from the backseat, your little voice bringing life to every trip. Now, those carefree days seem to have slipped away. You’ve grown, and the need to be quiet often overshadows your vibrant spirit. I find myself whispering, “Shh, be quiet! Your brother is napping!” instead of embracing your joyful noise. Your laughter and exuberance, once a constant in our home, now feel stifled as I rush to tend to your sibling’s needs.
In the evenings, as I tuck you into bed and notice your toy on my dresser, I feel a pang of longing. I often miss the connection we shared throughout the day. It’s a bittersweet feeling—an awareness that I didn’t spend enough quality time with you. My heart sighs at the thought of how much I miss you, my firstborn, as I navigate the demands of motherhood for two.
Now, as you share my attention with your younger sibling, I want to give both of you my all. I adore the way your brother gazes at me, his newness and innocence captivating my heart. But still, there’s a part of me that aches for those moments we once had, where I was your sole focus. I miss scooping you up when you’re feeling down, holding you close, and swaying together, your little body nestled against mine.
Some days, it feels like there isn’t enough of me to go around. I yearn to love you both wholeheartedly, but the constant demands leave me feeling stretched thin. Like many mothers with multiple children, I hope for a future where I can give each of you the attention you deserve. Until that day comes, I must appreciate the unique experiences that each moment brings for both of you, even if they are bittersweet.
For now, I strive to find whatever pieces of myself I can share between you. I hold on to the hope that as you both grow into your independence, I will feel more fulfilled in giving you the love, time, and attention you need. Until then, I miss you deeply. I miss myself, and I miss the bond we once had.