When I first felt my baby girl kick, it was an overwhelming mix of emotions. Joy, fear, and wonder enveloped me all at once. It was everything I’d expected and more. But in that intimate moment, something deeper stirred within me. That tiny kick felt like a gentle reminder that my life was about to change drastically. The idea of stepping away from my role with you to embrace motherhood was daunting yet enticing.
As I contemplated this shift, I found myself reflecting on the beautiful yet challenging moments I shared with you. You arrived in distress, a whirlwind of anticipation and anxiety. “How far apart are your contractions? Did your water break? Is it a boy or a girl?” Every detail mattered, and your excitement and fear were palpable. This was your first child, and every emotion was justified.
Running alongside you to the operating room, I held your hand, trying to instill calm in both of us. My colleagues efficiently managed the chaos around us, while I focused on you, reassuring you that you weren’t alone. The moment your baby cried for the first time, I witnessed pure relief wash over your face—a moment I’ll never forget.
Then there were those of you who were seasoned pros, like the confident mother of three who needed no reassurance. You knew your body, and I admired your strength. As you welcomed your little one, I marveled at the bond we shared, one that went beyond the medical. I was privileged to be part of your journey, to witness the raw power of motherhood and to learn from you as much as you learned from me.
The experiences I shared with each of you were profound. You opened your lives to me, allowing me to support you through both the joyous and the challenging times. Whether it was teaching you how to breastfeed, the first diaper change, or simply being there when tears fell, I felt honored to hold your baby and share in those moments.
Now, away from the hospital and at home with my little girl, I find that my love for her exists alongside the love I have for my time with you. The joys of motherhood are irreplaceable, yet they coexist with the passion I had for my work. I realize now that I don’t have to choose one over the other; both have shaped who I am.
I hope one day to return to you, to once again walk alongside you through those life-changing moments. But if I can’t or if I don’t, please know the truth: you have been one of my greatest joys. The gift of witnessing your births has been a privilege like no other.
Thank you for allowing me to be part of your stories and for sharing the incredible journey of bringing new life into the world. I’ll carry those memories with me, and I wish you all the best in your own journeys. Be well, mamas. Be well.
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Summary
This heartfelt letter from a labor nurse reflects on the transformative experience of witnessing childbirth while grappling with her own impending motherhood. Through her reflections, she expresses gratitude for the connections formed with mothers and the privilege of being part of their stories. Ultimately, she cherishes both her roles, acknowledging that the joys of parenting and nursing can coexist beautifully.