When I first caught sight of the trailer for “A Hidden Love” on Netflix, I felt a surge of excitement. As a queer woman in a relationship with another woman, understanding the lives of LGBTQ+ elders resonates deeply with me. The documentary chronicles the relationship between two remarkable women, Sam and Jordan, who first crossed paths in the late 1940s and maintained their partnership for over seven decades. For more than 60 years, they kept their love a secret from their families. While the premise is undoubtedly captivating, the viewing experience raised numerous concerns about LGBTQ+ representation and storytelling.
It’s crucial to highlight that the documentary was produced in collaboration with Jordan’s family and Ryan Murphy. The film’s director, Chris, is Jordan’s great-nephew, which adds a layer of complexity to the narrative. After watching, I discovered that a key family member, Lisa, plays a significant role in the film and can be perceived as antagonistic. This revelation only intensified my discomfort.
The Beginning of Sam and Jordan’s Love Story
Sam and Jordan met in 1947 when they were both involved in sports—Sam playing baseball and Jordan on the ice playing hockey. Their instant attraction blossomed into a lifelong commitment, despite societal pressures and engagements to men. Their secretive nature regarding their love was a reflection of the harsh realities faced by lesbians at the time.
Documentary Focus and Concerns
Though “A Hidden Love” is undeniably moving, certain elements made me uneasy, particularly as a queer viewer. The love story aspect felt secondary to the filmmakers. Much of the focus centered on the aging women’s decision to sell their long-time Chicago home and relocate. While these discussions are valid, they seem out of place in a documentary that markets itself as a love story.
Sam’s determination to keep Jordan happy is evident, even if it means leaving behind a city that has been their home for decades. Her hesitance to move highlights deeper concerns, masked by a surface-level discussion about the climate. “Everyone loves Jordan,” Sam wisely observes, “They tolerate me because of her.”
Portrayal of Family Dynamics
One of the more troubling aspects of “A Hidden Love” is the portrayal of Sam as a sort of villain. Lisa accuses Sam of never having bonded with the family and of keeping her “Auntie Jordan” away from them. However, Lisa’s behavior comes off as antagonistic, creating a dissonance in her claims of care. In a particularly charged moment, Lisa breaks down, suggesting that Sam harbors hatred toward her, which feels disingenuous given the context of their interactions.
Although Sam and Jordan revealed their true relationship to their family in 2009, the documentary glosses over the reasons behind their silence for six decades. Jordan briefly mentions her dread of being ostracized by her family if she had come out sooner, and Lisa hints at their father’s bigotry. It’s clear that familial dynamics played a crucial role in their decision to remain discreet about their love. Some family members dismiss their relationship as inconsequential, with one niece even suggesting they marry so they aren’t “living in sin.” This tension is palpable, especially when Jordan visibly stiffens at a simple gesture of affection from Sam.
The Importance of Authentic Storytelling
A critical takeaway from “A Hidden Love” is the importance of allowing queer voices to tell their own stories. While Chris’s sexual orientation is unknown, it’s evident that the lives of Sam and Jordan as queer women aren’t prioritized in this narrative. We hear them mention their need for secrecy, yet their experiences as openly lesbian individuals are sidelined. The film markets itself as a love story, but one must wonder for whom it truly is.
Initially, I was eager to see how the lives of lesbians have evolved over the last 70 years. I delayed coming out to my family until my 30s, just as Sam and Jordan did, fueled by fear of disapproval. I hoped to gain insight into LGBTQ+ history through their experiences during significant movements like gay liberation and the right to marry. Unfortunately, the film fails to explore these aspects.
The documentary neglects to showcase how Sam and Jordan found their community. There’s a brief encounter with a gay male couple, but the focus quickly shifts back to their move. The narrative misses the vital element of how they embraced their identities as lesbians.
Conclusion: A Missed Opportunity
The treatment of Sam and Jordan, and their love story, leaves much to be desired. While old home videos and photographs provide glimpses into their lives, the narrative is overshadowed by family concerns. Even during their wedding, the emphasis remains on how Jordan’s family feels, missing the significance of their long-awaited union.
“A Hidden Love” is a beautifully produced film that raises many unanswered questions, particularly about the authenticity of its representation. It often feels like a queer narrative tailored for a straight audience, where the filmmakers seek validation for their acceptance of Sam and Jordan. However, true acceptance should involve deeper engagement with their identities. Their experiences as out women, their struggles with family acceptance, and their navigation of the world should be central to the story. As it stands, the documentary tells the story of a family grappling with their aunt’s identity rather than the love story that Sam and Jordan truly deserve.
For more insights on LGBTQ+ narratives, check out this related post from our blog. Additionally, for a comprehensive understanding of preconception vitamins for those considering parenthood, visit this authority on the subject. If you’re curious about the IVF process, this excellent resource will provide valuable information.
In summary, “A Hidden Love” offers a touching look at a long-term relationship but ultimately falls short in authentically capturing the experiences of its subjects as queer women. It raises critical questions about representation and the importance of allowing LGBTQ+ individuals to narrate their own stories.